Friday, December 30, 2011

Dinner

Corn, cauliflower and chicken nibbles are currently on the bake (or the boil, in the case of the veges), because my tummy's A'grumblin and my ovens A'cookin!
I do take note that Im a little late in dinner, considering that it is infact ten minutes to 10pm. But does that matter? I got out of bed at quarter to 12, so really, if I work from that time and compare it to my usual waking hour of 7 or 8am, its really an early dinner. Probably about 5pm.
So I'm actually way ahead of time, and preparing dinner early (because I'm a spectacularly organized person... ask anyone, they will back me up).

Im guessing that the holiday season will excuse my late waking and my late cooking, because after all, it 'tis the season to be jolly!
Better check the chicken though. Don't fret, I'm not one of those mothers on the 'dont leave your cooking unattended' adds from TV because the computer I am at is mere meters away from the oven itself (also, I haven't given birth recently... or at all. So cannot be a mother), so all is well.

I am going to excuse the fact that this post is flowing from my brain without writers block because of the copious amounts of the 'naturally elegant rosé' I have consumed. I don't believe it is a particularly naturally elegant wine, but the bottle says it is, so I guess I can't argue with that....
Not only because it is a bottle, and no matter how convincing my argument it - the bottle will not agree, but because I know nothing about wine and wouldn't be anywhere near capable of formulating a convincing argument.

Never the less, my chicken is roasting its self into perfection. I wish I'd thought to add some kumara too. I love kumara. Although, I'm pretty sure that everyone loves kumara - as my mum would say, "Its like the town bicycle".
My computer doesn't recognise kumara as a word, so I spell checked it and the closest option was "chimera". And I must say, roasting chimera would be alot more difficult than kumara - even if you excuse the actual capturing of the beast its self. Would it be red meat or white? What herbs does it go with? Do you roast at 180 or 200 degrees? Or even, would it be barbequable? .... Does it go with gravy?
Do you drink it with red or white wine? Can you glaze it with sugar?

... Does the taste even go well with roast vegetables?
I guess we'll never know. I don't have the means to catch one, or cook one... what size oven would you need.... so complicated...
I'd much rather stick to my glorious kumara. Especially the way I cook it!
You peel it and dice it into bits, then you chuck it all in a plastic bag - tip in vege oil, rosemary, oregano, salt, pepper and bread crumbs. Twist the bag shut, shake it all around and spread it on a tray (minus the plastic bag) and roast it at 180.
DEEEEEEEEELLLLIIIIIIIIICCCCCIIIIOOOOOUUUUUUUUUSSSSSSSSSSSS

Dont want chicken nibbles now. I want kumara.

Saturday, December 24, 2011

Merry christmas!

Merry Christmas everyone! I can honestly that I didn't expect to be on here on christmas day!
But here I am, Writing. I just wanted to tell you that santa loves me so much that he delivered me a gift on christmas eve.... the gift of a rash....
It seems that when I died my hair last night, I was allergic to the conditioner it came with... so I have loverly pink dots all over my back and shoulders and chest! HORRAY.

THANK YOU SANTA. This will look great in the photos.... I loved your gift so much that I put it on straight away... And haven't (been able to) take it off since...

Thursday, December 22, 2011

Glorious Sunshine....

It seems that no matter what bribe is offered, or how many compliments it receives, the sun is bent on burning me. I put on sunblock whenever I think theres the chance of me being in the sun, I wear hats, I have sleeves, I stay in the shade.
It's like the sun is sitting up there, just waiting for me to step outside so it was muster all its burning potential and throw it at me. While Im inside, it daydreams about how much fun it will have watching me change colour, and peel. For all I know, the sun gets off on burning me.

I wouldn't be surprised it the sun was a sadist, I mean, think about it.
 It melts peoples ice creams, chocolate and melts tar - for people to step in. It causes sub burn, heat stroke, sun stroke and skin cancer. It influences prickles to grow in the grass, it heats sand so we burn our feet on the beach, it causes car crashes (when you suddenly get a full face of sun when you turn a corner - your momentarily blind, everything around you becomes a hazzard! BAM you hit 5 trees and roll the car all the way down a hill and into a river thats infested with piranhas, as you blindly swim to safety - even though both your arms are broken from the tree impact - they eat your skin off and pull your hair out. When your finally on shore, another driver who had the same issue runs you over).

So essentially, the sun is a murderer.
But we can't live without it... so I guess I should just get over it and buy sunblock with SPF 1000 or something.

Tuesday, December 20, 2011

Good morning surprise

I awoke this morning, thinking "uuuuuugh gotta get up in half an hour for work...", I then pressed snooze about 5 times, because the alarm goes off every 5 minutes until you turn it off properly. It was almost 8am, when I realized that I actually started work at 9.30, not 9 like I'd thought.
HORRAY!!! I could sleep in for another whole half hour!
Oh what a good surprise! I was so happy with that! TIS THE TIME TO BE JOLLY!
THANK YOU FOR THE EARLY CHRISTMAS PRESENT, SANTA!

When I finally got up, ten minutes earlier than needed - so no rushing for me. It was good, roll out of bed, streeeeeeetch, pull on my socks. Streeeeeetch!
Pick up my dress for work, nicely hung on the coat hanger, no creases! Pull it over my head and straighten it. But then something falls off it and drops onto my leg - whats this?
I look down and see a massive black white tail spider at my feet. It was IN my dress. I PUT THE SPIDER ON. uuuuughghghghghgh1!!! So gross
It was like, thumb sized, no exaggeration. I almost vomited. I squealed like a little girl, over and over, until Tib came and rescued me....

He squashed it with my coat hanger... no more crease-less dresses for me. Im not touching that coathanger ever again.

Santa must have a sick sense of humour...

Monday, December 12, 2011

Being a slacker

My post title is directly aimed at myself. Im a total slacker!
Im like "yeah, I'll write a post when I .... *SNORE*
it just never happened, and it eventually got to the point where I stopped feeling bad about for leaving it too late. Usually when Im being terrible at honoring this bloggular commitment, I get really guilty, and every time I'm on facebook or checking my emails... this little voice in the back of my head nags at me - like an old woman.
And old people usually make me feel bad (the REALLY old ones, not the semi old ones), so its generally an effective strategy.

But not this time! This time I didn't even write about my birthday - every year since I started this blog, I've written about it. I fret about if the weather will hold out on the day, or wether or not the plans I made will fall through. I fret that everyone will forget, or that I'll die, or something ... incredibly irrational.
But this birthday went... mainly smoothly. No wild parties - Im too much of a GOOD girl (that, and work dominates my life).

You know, actually, thinking about it now. I always get stupid irrational fears. Its like the ones that everyone gets - if open the blinds at night some half dead deranged person will be peering through to eat your face. Or that when I get in the car at night, there will be that same half dead deranged person sitting in the back seat... waiting for the opportunity to get my delicious face.... he will eat it slowly, savoring it..... Should he eat the nose first? or maybe, the eyes. Yes, yes... the eyes... maybe with some BBQ sauce......

Anyway, In conclusion, I apologize for my general lack of writing. I would like to say "I promise I'l keep up and write at least one post a week" but yeaaaaaaah nah, I'll try but it probably wont happen.


Although IT IS THE SEASON TO BE JOLLY. I'll be writing about christmas, I imagine.

Friday, October 14, 2011

Gosh darn it sleepyness!

I'm so tired all the time! I wake up, I'm tired... Im at work, I'm tired... I get home from work, I'm tired....
Like every second night I'm like "OKAY. I'll stay up tonight and watch a movie!" or, "Okay, tonight I'll go out and see blah" or, "OKAY. TONIGHT I WONT FUCKING FALL ASLEEP EARLY".

Then it's like, every third night I'm like "man, I must be catching a cold or something because I'm just so tired all the time!".

And you know what?
I BLAME WORK!
Considering all I seem to do in my spare time is try not to fall asleep, it MUST be work! And I have been getting a whole bunch of sicknesses recently (I mean, I always am, but at the moment its 'more than usual' for my summer time sicknesses). Just generally run down - had to leave early and curl up in a pain enduring ball to suffer out the migraine I harbored the other day. I napped, and woke, and napped, and woke. It was one of the ones that not only are put you in nose hair pulling pain, but also make you feel like vomiting up the past weeks worth of lunches - even though you've already digested them.

I think maybe I'm not sleeping properly. Like, must not be falling into the deeper stages of sleep - but then, I must be. I still must be reaching REM sleep because I remember my dreams/nightmares. GOSH DARNIT.
Maybe I should... Idk. Just not pay attention to my sleepyness. I might be like a child - I should stop giving it the attention it wants when its naughty. Other wise it will never stop being sleepy!

Monday, October 3, 2011

Vacuuming

I've never wanted to murder something as much as I did today.
I'm exaughisted - mentally and physically - so, I was just making it through the day. Dragging my feet. Sighing. Checking the time every 5 minutes.
I was on cleaning today, right, no big deal. I do that twice a week. Whatever.
So I finish sweeping up the floor, and vacuuming out back. Pull the vacuum cleaner out to mid shop. Make the humungous effort to crouch down and plug in the cord - to this stupid plug underneath a rack of clothes.
I then got up, turned to walk away, and my foot caught on the cord... pulling out the plug.
That was when I just about strangled the vacuum cleaner. I picked up the cord, incredibly aware that I was squashing it in my hand, bent down and rammed it into the plug as hard as I could.
I then proceeded to angrily vacuum the carpet while I contemplated just how possible it was to actually strangle the vacuum cleaner. I mean. It needed to suck in air to work properly... If I sever that airflow some how.......
hmm..
I knocked a few bras off their racks in my rage, and stubbornly refused to pick them up. WHY SHOULD I. It was the vacuum cleaners fault.

As the anger wore off, I started to feel more and more guilty about the bras on the ground... So I went back and put them back on the racks..


Bastard vacuum cleaner ruining my life.....

Work is out to get me

Today at work, I think I gathered more injuries than I have in my entire life.

I began when I woke for work this morning, I yawn, stretch, and begin my 'getting ready' process by slowly pushing away the covers - whilst mentally cringing at how cold it is, even though it wasn't cold. I turn my head, as I start getting up and AAAARRRRRRGH FXCK.
My neck?! What the F did I do to it?
Ofcourse, I pulled muscle, which then proceeded to be painful through out the entire day while I was climbing up and down ladders every thirty seconds re-arranging stock!

It was probably my neck that caused the rest of my injuries. Or, atleast, I will blame my neck for the stupidity that caused the other injuries. I walked into a display of belts twice - causing a loverly red, purple and blue swollen lump on my arm! HORRAY.
I then proceeded to drop metal bars on my feet, bump into wall brackets, step on broken coat hangers, e.t.c.

I finally got home, to nurse my plethora of scrapes and bruises, only to find that I'm far too tired and end up crawling back in bed.

Lets do it all again tomorrow.

Sunday, October 2, 2011

Where does all the time go?

Man, I feel like my lifes so full up. Where does all the time go?? 
It seems like I wake up in the morning - then its my lunch break. Then its night time and Im going to sleep thinking "Got to get up for work at 8..."
Work work work. Thats all I do these days!
But never fear guys, I still get to have an imagination. I get to organize clothes at work... you know... so that the colours match... And I painted the other day... I was sick off work, and stuck in bed, so I painted my hand (hence the header of the page). And and and, Tibs going to teach me to speak japanese! It will atleast be SOMETHING for me to work towards. Work is filling up the time blocks of my day, but it's not really getting anywhere. You know, just tidying clothes. Selling clothes. Unpacking clothes. Organizing clothes. 

AAAAAAANNNYWAY. I want to go for a big bush walk! But its raining (very heavily, might I add), and the bush/forest will me incredibly muddy and squishy disgusting (its raining cats and dogs out there!). I imagine there would be a plethora of mosquitos in there to nibble all my skin off, drink my blood, and make me swell up like an idiot!
I got a bite on my lip the other night, I woke up in the morning like I'd been punched in the mouth. It took me ages to figure out what had happened. I couldn't see any bite marks until the swelling had started going down that evening!! 
Thats one things I hate about summer...... MOSSIES.

Monday, September 26, 2011

Cold cold cold... horray spring!

Its spring time guys! I would know, at work I'm unpacking all the togs and singlets and pretty little dresses. Well. Pretty BIG dresses....
It feels like spring, but its pretty much been rain rain raining all week. Now, it's not raining, but I'm freezing cold... My jumper is downstairs in my room... and it's such a long walk to my room.... theres probably 20 stairs between me and my jumper, is it really worth it?

I mean, at this rate I wont even know I'm cold soon. I already can't feel my toes, all I have to do is wait until I can't feel the rest of my body, then it might as well be 30 degrees in here.
Speaking of unpacking spring stock though, it's terrible! I've been opening up all these bags of little girls dresses and skirts... SO ADORABLE. I want to buy them ALL.
I don't know enough littlies to buy for!!!
But, I have two little wee nieces and a tiny itty bitty cousin. So they will just have to be spoilt.
I don't know any boys though, the youngest is probably my cousin, and he's like 10.

ANYWAY. As a wonderfully polite friend of mine pointed out, I have been a little bit slack with the whole 'I'm going to write a blog post every day this month' thing I was testing out. It OBVIOUSLY didn't work out as planned, but hey. Atleast I'm writting occasionally. Thats better than once every 5 months or something - like ALL the other bloggers I'm friends with.
Bloody slackers.

Tuesday, September 20, 2011

Day... four, five, six, seven... eight? nine? Who knows.

Okay, its safe to say that I wasn't anywhere near committed enough to this challenge. To be honest, I'm not too committed to many challenges right now - apart from getting up in the morning for work. Which, I didn't do today or yesterday since I'm home sick... BUT, starting tomorrow, that challenge resumes!

I've got plenty to ramble on about, naturally, but I just don't have the get-up-and-go to actually write it down and put in some genuine effort to make a good blog post.
I'm good at saying "oh, I'll do it tomorrow". Then along comes tomorrow, and tomorrow's tomorrow too. After not too long, a string of 'tomorrows' get in a pile up on the road to 'moving ahead' and it takes ages to sort them all out again.
Although, when I have alot of time on my hands (like when I didn't have a job) I'm always getting things done. Housework, cooking, painting, baking.... whatever there was to be done, was done.

I figured out recently that I'm much better at organizing other peoples lives that I am at organizing my own... And I LIKE organizing things. Creating a good solid plan is brilliant!

Much to Tibs disappointment, he hates organizing. Which, I guess, means its good he's got me to make him do it. I'd love to help organize like... A wedding! I love weddings!
Although, you've got to have a constant flow of imaginations and originality to pan weddings... Oh hang on, I have that! Lol well really, not all the time. Just when I'm in a good mood.

Friday, September 16, 2011

Day two... and three.. and four.

It's not ENTIRELY my fault that I haven't been keeping up with my 'blog post a day' experiment. I've been at Tibs house most of this time, and whenever I sign into blogspot and open a new blog post - internet explorer crashes.
SO. Not my fault.
Another way I can defend myself is so say that on the second day I did actually write a post on a piece of paper while I was at work. Intending to write it on here when I got to Tibs.... Then you know, his STUPID PC COMPUTER can't even hold a website without CRASHING AND DYING.

Go apple mac!
(the crowd cheeeers)

Anyway. I figure that I will make up for lost time by writing THREE posts today!
I have alot to talk about. For instance, this morning I woke up like any other day this week; with a croaky manly voice and a sore throat. Theres usually a stock pile of snot in my nose too. I'm sick, again. Buuuut this morning was different because I had A HUGE MASSIVE GIGANTIC ENORMOUS lump on my lip! Its like I got brutally punched in the face by all the men in all the rugby teams in the world cup!
I barely even have any other facial features, my lip covers them all with its vastness. Its quite difficult to type because I can barely see over the swelling infront of me!

But really, its not that big at all. Its on the inside of my mouth too, so its hardly noticeable to anyone else... to me it feels HUGE.

Sunday, September 11, 2011

The challenge - day 1.

I challenged myself to write a blog post every day for a month.
There is different variables that I haven't sorted out yet, like is standard 30 days or 31 days. Then it could be 28 days if Im going to be picky about month amounts.

Even though I came up with this idea several days (weeks...) ago, I've managed to put it off until now. Which is really why I need to do this in the first place, because I keep putting off my blogging!

I have a lot of things each day that I just NEED to talk about, its like if I don't say it my brain will explode - one of these things happened at work the other day, I was folding these blouses (ridiculously slippery silky blouses that NEVER stay folded) and I found one where the size tag was sewn in upside down and back to front. I really wanted to tell someone, but nobody would care! So I ended up just telling myself for the remainder of the day... which was a long time, since I found it in the morning.....

Something else amazing that I NEED to talk about is what I've been having for breakfast the past few weeks. I know that I have previously marveled about the glorious wonders of toast and cereal - but now I am here to talk about porridge.
You have to be in the right mood to eat porridge, or its just not quite right. LUCKILY I've been in the right mood for porridge a lot recently! I eat it with banana. Not sliced, diced, cubed or triangled. When I make the porridge, I mix in LIQUID banana. Its liquid because I magic bullet it first!!!!!!!
Ugh.. its delicious....

Which reminds me... Dinners in the oven.... I should probably check on that...

Sunday, September 4, 2011

I think that the internet is being childish.

The last post, was, once again, BRILLIANT. So the internet went and swallowed it up. NO MERCY, HUH INTERNET????
TWO CAN PLAY AT THAT GAME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
But, for the time being,  I will go over some brief point that were so rudely interrupted from the last post. I am sick, once again. That is what the past title is referring too - I said something about making a world record because I write on here every time I get sick.... Idk, it was said much better before.
I then proceeded to talk about how whenever I get sick I have crazy nightmares - I may of mentioned that my nightmares-whilst-sick theory was that my nose is blocked and my subconscious mind thinks I can't breathe properly, so I panic it my dream and imagine all these crazy situations.

I THEN wrote down all the nightmares I had last night! Which I am NOT going to do again because it took me friggen forever. I spoke about how every time I woke up (which was like a billion times, fragmented sleep is my style... apparently....) my glass of water was empty and I had to get up and fill it up AGAIN. I think I drank like 5 glasses of water last night in the times that I woke up. Which meant that I also got woken up to go pee.... Not very clever of me, I'll admit.


NOW IF THIS DOESN'T SAVE I WILL DESTROY CYBERSPACE ... some how.

It was only appropriate that I wrote now.

Wednesday, August 31, 2011

half hearted effort

Since my last BRILLIANT AND AMAZING post was accidently lost in cyber space (I actually almost just gave up on the world and shot myself in the face when it happened) this one might be a bit half hearted, as I am still mourning the loss of my previous post.

Rip.

In other news, I had a great night - if the headache weren't there. And my day at work was great - if you disregard the tummy ache and pounding, teeth grinding, hair pulling headache.
Me at the moment is similarly good - if I stay still. Muffin snuck me some drugs and my headache has partially subsided.

One side of my face is crying, due to a large blob of moisturizer finding its way into my right eye. Its not painful, or even that irritating. It just feels kinds of like that side of my face is a lot more tired than the left half.

Im thinking maybe my blog needs a new picture. Instead of the title eating orange plant.
Any ideas? I'm open to suggestions - but chances are I'll end up doing whatever I like anyway. Don't let that discourage you.

ugh.... make up face...... the reason I was putting moisturizer on my eyes is to get the make up off. APPARENTLY I missed some, but its okay because my leaky eye found it for me and dribbled it all down my face - just so that I know its there.
Thank you, eye.

Tuesday, August 23, 2011

super-spectacularly amazing food.

Well, if I do say so myself, Im a pretty spectacular cook. A COMPLETE chef.....
Muffin would laugh at that, because I used to be a brain dead vegetable chef who didn't know the difference between cheese and carrots.
But now. NOW. I AM KING.
Tonight for dinner I made orange kumara, onion and sweet corn fritters. They were then topped with strips of brilliantly crispy bacon - and with a little heap of corn kernals, that had been cooked in the pan with the bacon, on the top!
And it was deliousooooo!

You know, since I last made a blog post we have gotten two kittens. One is fully black, and the other is black and white.... My sister named the b/w one 'Flossy' .....
Seriously? Flossy. What a girly name. WHAT A FXCKING GIRLY FXCKFACE NAME! She said it was between flossy and tinkerbell. I just chose the lesser of two evils.
Blacky Mc Black hasn't been named just yet. He was very nearly called gremlin - because he is one. Then he was almost called Munta (after the character from outrageous fortune).
But since we remain undecided, he remains un named. Poor little bastard.

It's taken me ages to write this out because I have to stop every few seconds and flick Mr Black on the ear because he attacks my typing hands, the mouse cord, the .... EW. The dog just snuck up behind me and ate a mouthful of cat poo and kitty litter !!!!
EW SINNY YOUR SO GROSS!!!!

Tuesday, August 2, 2011

Work and I have to sort out our differences

Nobody I know seems to get this, because I'm a stupid teenage girl who gets everything she wants and is selfish (atleast, thats what they're opinion seems to come off as).

I'm not very good when it comes to work. Its not that I'm slack, or that I'm lazy (although I am sometimes), its just that each time I wander into the working world, ready to DO something; somebody spits on me. Sometimes in my face, sometimes on my shoes....
No literally, although, I think that might be better. I'd rather be physically spat on than emotionally spat on.
I liked working for my mum, thats was good. And it was good because of the people who I worked with! They were good. I was a cleaner and a receptionist. I did ALL the messy, dirty, boring jobs that nobody else wanted or was bothered to do.
And I LIKED that job. That was fine.

Then I had a brief (very brief) stint working at my dads friends work. It would have been a brilliant opportunity, had I been ready for it. But it wasn't for me, you know? It just wasn't what I was looking for, I knew there was no point in me staying there because I didn't want to follow that as a career!
I got the major guilts put on me for ditching that one. I felt bad enough for wasting peoples time, I didn't need to know how disappointing it was.
That was a spit on the shoes. Something unpleasant, but not all that bad. Because I learned from it, that I wasn't interested in that area of work.

Then there was the cafe job... That was..... a big spit in the face - several times. I couldn't stand that place. The cafe work was okay, it was busy, but hey... talking to customers and cleaning, whats so bad about that? I just could NOT stand being around the people there.
Moods of the people around you influence your mood, so I was stressed, and miserable there. The people I worked with just constantly seemed angry.
It made me hate waking up in the morning, and going to bed at night knowing I was going to have to see them.

Now I got another job.... I was a little excited about it. I went through the interviewing motions... but then, the spitting part was when I got the surprise that it was ACTUALLY 37 hours a week! Not the 15 I was happy with. Not the 15 I applied for.
Cool, extra money. What the f? I haven't ever been a money driven person. I'm not ready for that - for THIS - because I started today. Once again, I go to bed thinking "Waking up will be shit...."

And yup, my family are thinking "harden up".
I knew they wouldn't bother trying to understand.

And tomorrow is yet ANOTHER day....

For some reason, in the world of sayings, 'tomorrow is another day' should be a good thing.
Yeah? Would it be? Every day is just another day. Every day is starting new and clean... fresh start... all that shxt. Well I don't go to bed at night thinking "Well today wasn't that good... but tomorrow will be a new day".
I go to bed thinking "Well, fxck. Why bother waking up tomorrow to do that same shxt again. Then again. THEN AGAIN"
Lets mix it up a bit and have something different for cereal.... or, we could break our own arm and spend the next few days in hospital or something. That would be interesting... I'd almost PREFER it.
Then again, I've never broken an arm... Or any bone, for that matter. So I'd probably seriously regret it when I figured out how much it hurt.

Maybe I wouldn't regret it.
Everyone around me is falling down sick with the flu, and Im sitting here immune - for ONCE in my life. And for once in my life, ID PREFER TO CATCH IT.
I remain doubtful, however. Tib caught a virus or strepthroat, and no matter the fact that I kiss him, cuddle him and sleep in the same bed - I have NOT caught that bug.
It looks nasty, fever - intense shivers, tummy ache, stiff joints, sleeplessness......

Bring on the virus....


FFFFFFMMMMMMMMMLLLL

Wednesday, July 6, 2011

Driv'n aroun' town

Im about to embark on a terribly DANGEROUS journey, which I may not make it back alive. I'll bring whatever survival items I can carry, but all I can do is hope and prey that luck falls upon me and I scrape through with most of my limbs intact...

I hate the motorway. Just HATE it. Its so unpredictable, and most people who drive on it are complete wankers, who only care about themselves and they'll be damned if your car is infront of theirs!
I mean, I try to avoid gridlock traffic time of the day, but I did get caught in the 'going home after work' traffic last time. Maaaaan people are impatient.
They're lucky I'm a patient person, or I'd have got out of the car, and stabbed the person behind me in the face! That way the traffic would definitely stop moving and they would THEN find out what traffic really is.

Anyway, I'm driving to my aunties today - staying till Saturday. I'm bringing the knitted jumper that my nana made for the baby, and the little wee soft toy monkey that Tib and I are giving the baby too.
I've been knitting it a patch quilt blanket.... My goodness... Knitting is SO SLOW. I feel like I've made a tone of squares for the blanket, but I've only made like, 6 of them.

ANYWAY. I need a shower (In preparation for my drive AAAAHHHHHHH)

When I grow up

You know, it's weird because it's not like I want to go out into the big old world, but that doesn't stop me from saying things like "when I have kids Im not going to let them be fussy about dinner  - they either eat it or they get it shoved in their face.... even if it is boiling hot soup..... Atleast they'll learn quickly not to complain"
Or "when I have my own house, every walls going to be a different colour and there will be a fridge next to the shower incase I get some cleanly muchies and need to chow down a slice of water melon while Im shaving my legs"

Or even simple things like "when Im 95, I'll still be driving John around" (For those who don't know, John is my wee V dub polo. He's pink and adorable. He's called John Locke - after the AWESOME character off lost - because my poor car has this weird problem where the passenger doors lock sticks. Also when I first saw John he was running and we closed the door, then he locked us out WHILE he was still going)...

I've started this box of stuff that I'm collecting for when I do go to drown myself in the wide world (come on guys! lets go flatting, it'll be funGLUG GLUG SOMEBODY SAVE ME)
Its grown into two boxes now. They're filled with things that I see and go "Wow. I love that!" but its unlikely I'll ever see it again.
Usually weird things, like spoons with faces or something....

Sunday, July 3, 2011

Liquidated ants....

So.. I was going through this cupboard in the laundry today. Since were moving house again, all the random junk needs to get sorted through. Anyway, in this cupboard was all the things that don't really have a place - like shoe polish and flea treatments and carpet cleaner. There was also this ant poison...

Isn't that a confusing name for an ant poison? It sounds like its a poison specifically for 'liquid ants'. What ever they are.....
People should label their products more clearly, this could have caused many potential ant killing customers to not buy this. They'd be looking through the poison section of the super market being like 'slug poison... child poison..... weed poison... Aaah here we go. Ant poison! Oh wait, this is for Liquidated ants only, darn.... Sorry kids. I guess the ants are here to stay!"

Saturday, July 2, 2011

AAAAAAAARRGHHHH ITTCHY

Fxcking mossies and their stupid blood sucking tendencies with their STUPID cousins the the fleas! They think they're so 'coooool' with their ... their WINGS and their... stupid... bug... ness......
Well they're NOT cool.
They're not! You hear me?

I thought they died off other the winter anyway? What the hell. Why are they ravaging my legs. WHY. GO DIE LIKE YOUR MEANT TO YOU HORRIBLE HORRIBLE THINGS.
I only have like two bites atm, but I had three last week! From fleas!!! Bastard fleas.... I de-flead the dogs because I was getting bitten from the carpet dwelling fleas that wait for the dogs to come inside.

I'm just lucky that I don't have a weird need to rub my face on the carpet or something (some people do that. Its like having a nervous twitch. They're halfway through a sentence then BAM! Face Vs Carpet duel) because When I get bites on my face I look F'd up. Not kidding, like, I think the mossies in my part of town have figured this out because they go for the face when I sleep.
My cheek and eyelids are the favourite targets.
My eye lids swell up and go a bit blue, like I've been punched in the face. Its not like a normal mossie bite swelling, its SO MUCH BIGGER THAN THAT. And the cheek bites also swell and go blue and/or purple.
These are older photos, and the bottom pic is later during the day when the swelling started going down and I could partially open it!! I had to go to the doctors and get there stupid pills to make it go down, and it still took 3 days.
I get into alot of bar fights when I sleep, thats my usual excuse for why I wake up with that.

I just realised that I was typing this with hunched shoulders. Like, I'd just lost my neck or something. I'll blame the mossies for that one too - its a defense mechanism. Like, OMG MY FACE! I'LL TRY SHEILD IT BY ROLLING MY NECK SKIN OVER IT!!! ... That would be weird.

Oh yeah... Im meant to be at my grand parents house. BYE

JAM

I feel like I need to write a post, because I have a lot on my mind  - like, cakes and babies and teeth and stomach acids and cold and petrol and people and stuff.
But really, none of those things are particularly in my head in a way that I want to share with the world. So you know what?
I think I'm going to bake some cookies. We have no choc chips, which sucks, but we do have raspberry jam. Thanks to me. Other people may have wanted strawberry or plum jam, but I was INSISTENT on having raspberry because although those who aren't experienced in the field of baking jam bickies wouldn't know this, the jam MUST be raspberry. Must.

Well. It doesn't really have to be, because the biscuits will still rise normally and taste alright with any old boring jam. BUT IM MAKING THEM.
YOU WANNA EAT THEM.
I GET MY JAM.

Those are the baking rules and there's NO EXCEPTIONS. Tib helped me make my last batch, and they didn't have raspberry jam on (Oh the horror!). I keep typing 'ham' on accident.
Imagine if you could have flavoured ham. Wouldn't that be disgusting?
Actually, wouldn't it be pointless? Whats the point in having jam flavoured ham? Or ham flavoured jam? Pork flavoured chicken? Candy-floss flavoured broccoli?

But chicken bacon is entirely acceptable.

EUGH. I just google imaged 'bacon' and it came up with Bacon and chocolate ice cream.
WHY?! Bacon is delicious. Chocolate is delicious. Ice cream is delicious. LET THEM BE DELICIOUS ON THEIR OWN.

Thursday, June 30, 2011

House work

I do wonder, occasionally, what would happen if I just stopped doing the house work.
I think that it would get messier and messier, then the rest of the family would start complaining, but nobody would actually do any of it.

It's like, if I go out for a day or two, I'll get home and all the dishes that have been used in that time will be piled up waiting for me to get home. Like-wise with the washing. Even the super market shopping's been left to me a bit recently! Vacuuming, washing floors, looking after animals.... making beds.... cleaning the bathrooms.... making dinner....
And you know what? I don't mind all that much. I have so much spare time (Because I'm a slacker who doesn't have a job) that I might as well do the housework. Its not like its 'hard' work. Just... incredibly time consuming.

Which is tough luck for the fam, because I had caught a tummy bug and couldn't do any of it - ha ha!
Although I still did all the dishes and washing. And now that I'm feeling a bit better I'll be making dinner again. Too tired for vacuuming though - SUCKERS.

Anyway, tonight I'm doing fish fillets (Terakihi - weird spelling...) with roast potatos, onions, pumpkin and yams! I'm looking for something green to go with it - a little colour would do nicely. Can't be all this brown and yellow nonsense (NOT RACIST).

Sigh. Into the kitchen where I belong...

Tuesday, June 28, 2011

Cereal, glorious cereal.

I was writing a status on facebook a few seconds ago, about how we couldn't live without cereal, emotionally. And I realised, just how much I love cereal.
I didn't think it meant this much to me, until I considered a life without cereal...

I sad life, where the only options available for a real breakfast are porridge and toast! The milk only gets used for hot drinks, its purpose is so much less necessary.... There's no morning sugar sprinkling, or fruit toppings, no crunch crunch on the cornflakes, or pop pop on the rice bubbles! No much on the fruit loops or squelch on the mini wheats! There's NO piling up cherios, or splurping up bugs and mug!
THERES NO CEREAL!
What sort of a person would honestly want to live in a disgustingly hopeless world! How could I even think of that, how could... how could..... How could the possibility of that even exist!
Oh my goodness, what if cereal never had been invented.



But its okay, its okay guys. Cereal was invented, and we can all take deep breaths (wipe the tears away from our eyes), there IS cereal in the cupboard and there IS milk in the fridge! We can take our spoons and shovel it into our mouths!
THERE IS A GOD! He has provided us with CEREAL.

I note that from now on, Cereal is important enough to deserve a capital letter - not only at the beginning of the word 'Cereal' but at the beginning of any Cereal name!
There is the hybrids though, like wheatbix, I mean, I don't mind a hearty bowl of the stuff myself, but its a mix between cereal and porridge. It should have a class of its own..... The cross breeds.

We will do our best not to discriminate against the cross breeds... the 'half bloods' ......
But, as voldemort would say (interference to Cereal),
CEREAL IS MIGHT.

Sunday, June 26, 2011

I LOVE MY MUM

Today is my mummies birthday - I baked her a cake with a sheep on it (its a long story). I also have a toy sheep for her, its still wrapped though, because I'm visiting her at work to give her her sheep!

The sheep things been happening for a while, its a personal joke. I get her sheep related objects for presents. It started last year... for her birthday she was going on about this sheep bag that she'd seen in a shop, it was "SO CUTE", but she wouldn't tell me where it was because she was sad that she didn't buy it...
So I tracked it down and go it for her.
Then I went away on holiday, to Rotorua for a school trip! And there is like ten gabillion thousand tourist shops there... which were filled with sheep toys. And I found one, that was SO CUTE. So I got it for her.

Then on mothers day I got her a sheep... that was dressed at a pukeko. Its pukeko hood comes down and reveals a sheep underneath! SO CUTE.

And now there is my latest sheep. Soon she will have a herd of sheep in her room.
One day I should actually get her a REAL sheep (would be hard to wrap, admittedly).

Friday, June 24, 2011

Last nights dinner

So, last night I was home by myself until about 10:30pm (I didn't know this, hence why I made dinner for the whole family). Dinner was therefor unnecessary and a waste of time.

It was even more of a waste of time because it was such a complete failure! Thank goodness nobody was home to eat it or they would have been severely disappointed!
It was a bit of an experiment meal. I was looking in the freezer - as thats how dinner usually starts. And sussing out the meaty options, I decided on mince (Due to the lack of chicken, fish, lamb and pork or any other options).
Then I thought "mince what?" And decided on spaghetti Bolognese. I then decided that it would have tin spaghetti instead of normal pasta spaghetti. . . This was a logical choice to me - less cooking, less ingredients, I cant over/under cook the pasta.....

So it began. The mince was in the pan cooking... after a while, it was evident that the cow this mince came from must have been fxcking obese because there was like gallons of grease and oil pouring out of the meat. I even tipped out like, a cup of it.
I put the spaghetti in, and cheese on top, and in the oven it goes.... Glistening with fat....
Anyway, it cooked, I ate some, it was really bland due to the somewhat boring nature of the tinned spaghetti and the somewhat intense fatty flavour of the mince.

I put the remaining potions into a container into the fridge.. where the oil and fat proceeded to mould together forming a layer of sludge in the bottom of the container.....

Needless to say... I haven't eaten any more of it.....

I do miss photography...

In saying that I miss photography, it doesn't mean I've stopped taking photos - goodness no! I mean that I miss photography class from school. If I take a photo now, and show somebody, its kind of like "cool" or "whyyy would you take a picture of a rock?" or something TOTALLY IGNORANT like that!
And I'd be like, what do you mean WHY take a picture of a ROCK?
That rock has amazing detail in the cracks! And can you see how I caputred that mould right there? Doesn't it look like you could reach out and stroke its wet fuzziness??

No, it doesn't, what the hell you weirdo. Go take pictures of normal things like girls making kissy faces (also known as 'duck face ' to those who are internet savvy).

So heres a few of the ones I've taken recently, just so that somebody who appreciates how much I love micro and supermicro. They're relatively normal pictures anyway... well. Except for the last one...



But who cares? That last ones nothing compared to my year 12 photography work! NOTHING I TELL YOU.  And also, you should just be happy I didn't photograph the rest of the chicken. That was worse.

IT BUUUUUURRRRNS

So, were moving house right - as I discussed in a previous post.
Naturally, to pack all our stuff into boxes, we go through all the junk thats collected over the (WHOLE THREE YEARS) that we've lived here.
So this also means, naturally, that there's a lot of things that need disposing of.

A good friend of mine kindly sacrificed his life to help with that disposal. . .
At first he was afraid that it might hurt.

But as time went on, he got more into the disposal process, and realised that he ENJOYS THE PAIN!


Thursday, June 23, 2011

Houses and heartaches

People, people, people.
When will they ever learn? If the bible has taught us anything its to treat people as you wish to be treated!

Now, Im not religious in the slightest - goodness me, if I could  BELIEVE in a religion... believe in a 'belief' .... believe in anything, really, I'd be in a much better mindset! But, alas, I do not believe.
So here I am, marvelous me, to wonder about how people can be so BLIND.

Now now, this thread may come off as slightly hypocritical - I'll make it quite clear right now, I am not denying that I am a 'People', so as much as I may slander towards the Peoples of the world, I am fully aware that I myself am part of the People community.

My aunt has just had a baby - quite a feat! She's 42 and has been trying for some time now! Clap claps all round! But, apparently that is not the case. Some of those 'clap claps' have gone amiss. They seem to have been miss placed... Or perhaps, never placed in the first place.
It bothers me that even a BABY can't get the claps it should. I'd love to elaborate on this, but, I can only imagine I'm already getting virtually scowled at somewhere - if anyone even reads this nonsense anymore. Besides, this matter is infact VERY complicated, and many people tell me to KEEP MY NOSE OUT OF IT but unfortunately my nose is just too nosy to keep itself out of places that ought not to be nosied in.

Siigh... Life is hard, isn't it? Who knows!
We know?! My goodness my minds all muddled up tonight. My ramblings are making even less sense that the sense they would usually make. I guess it is half past midnight and my mind would should could be long since resting in a loverly nightmare filled sleep - the dreams have been spectacularly bizzare recently - but this is neither the time nor the place for that story...

Ah yes, about HOUSES. So I am moving house (yet again, may I add), but fortunately, this house-moving instance isn't unfortunate. It is unfortunately costing a fortune to follow through with, those blasted houses and their over-inflated costs!
I don't think I have properly evaluated my feelings about the whole house moving fiasco. So I guess speculation and comment would be unwise at this point...


Why am I talking so out of character?
Because your tired,  you nutface.
A WHAT?! That does remind me... I need some almonds...
Why?
Im making Tosca cake, at some point. It has almonds.

Tuesday, June 21, 2011

Headaches.

Heachaches were next right? Yeah?
Well, They're next now.

This is basically a rant post about how terrible headaches are. And I know, "thats common knowledge Orangejar, EVERYONE hates headaches",
But you know what?
Not everyone gets migraines! And I do! Or, I did, the other day anyway.
I woke up, like any other day.
There was a slight headache, a little annoying, but manageable. I just thought it was a teeny weeny dehydration headache! So I downed a few glasses of water, swallowed 2 panadol.

As the morning progresses, so does my headache. It gets to 11 am, and its pounding! Like, there's a giant rave going on inside my brain, and everyones jumping around yelling and smashing bottles (cause they're so wasted and high on my brain juices). So I try the anadol again. I start complaining to my mummy, saying annoying child-like things (it huuuuuuuuuuuuuurrrtsss. Oooowwwwww... Muuuuuuummmmm)
And she gave me one of her migraine pills, and told me to GO TO BED for a few hours. So, there's me thinking "I've got you this time you little bastard" towards my head, and I climb in bed and fall asleep.

I wake up at 2 pm, and I feel a little sick - like, vomit sick. But headache is gone! I just presumed that all the drugs are arguing amongst my stomach acids, and that a nice healthy, 2 hour late lunch would be a fixer-upper to that problem!
I make and eat lunch. BOOM! Headache comes back! BANG BANG BANG BANG! The brain ravers have turned up the music and are going completely mental - There's like 20 moshpits in there.

I call mummy up, and complain. She expresses how its strange that I still have a headache, and that I feel sick. She thinks maybe I have a tummy bug of some kind... Either way, she tells me to take another migraine pill and sends me TO BED!

I wake up at 5:30 pm, feeling fantastic...ly sick. Tummy sick, headache gone.
Buuuuut luckily, headache only returned as a dull throb, and tummy forgave me when I filled it with BK.

Horray to Burger King! My savior!

Hogs,

Alright - my first explanation is about hedgehogs. The fact that I haven't written about hedgehogs REALLY proves that I've been a total unbelievably useless slacker with typing about important moments in my life.

So, it all began when I got off the bus after work (Wow, I haven't even told you that I quite that waste-of-my-life hellhole). And went to cross the road, but saw the adorable prickly bundle of joy that was a baby hedgehog - later to be name Sonic.

I had him for about 2 and a half weeks - inwhich time, many people met him and fell inlove with him. He was dubbed "the cutest thing on Earth" more than once. He would squeal when left alone, and cuddle when picked up - he regularly fell asleep curled in a ball on our hands or tummies. He ate alot, syringe fed. He was amazing.



He died though, when he escaped one day. It was very sad, we buried him in my garden. My sister bought me a little hedgehog necklace charm so I'll always remember him!
He is the reason that I love hedgehogs now. I've looked after quite a few, and taken a few off roads, treated several for mange. They are tricky little buggers! The last one I had was half way through mange treatment and he ESCAPED from the bunny cage. Little bastard. Didn't even say thank you for the treatment.

I bought the hogs a box of meal worms that they refused to eat, so now those mealworms are rolling around in their box, wondering what they did wrong in life to get so rejected. A trademe member recommended I make them a weeny mealworm sized couch, and ask them about their childhoods. So I did.



Hogs, headaches, houses....

Goodness Goodness me! How slack I am for not writing.
It seems that every single time I go to write a blogpost Im saying "How slack I am for not writing!"
And you know what? My typing has gone far down hill since my posting ceased - infact, its more like my typings just wandered straight off the edge of a cliff and plummeted to the ground 10,000m below.

Every fifth word is a typing error, or a spelling mistake - and to top it off, every five words take about five minutes to type (largely exaggerated, my typing is still MUCH faster than my gamer-boy boyfriend who's spent tengazillion more hours on the computer than I have).

Either way, I say to myself "well I have nothing to type about anyway", as a pathetic excuse NOT to blog. I know, you know, the guy next door knows what a pile of Shxt that is. I type best when I type nothing!
Its like that Ronan Keating song "When you say nothing at all"

But whatever, I've got a few minutes on my hands (not literally, like, Im not wearing a watch)
(which wouldn't be right anyway, I mean, who wears watches on their HANDS? Its called a wrist watch for a reason, Orangejar! Jeez)
So I'm going to write a couple of posts - I know its hard to read LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONGcat posts when they're so big the side scroll bar looks like its a dot instead of a line - if that makes sense. So Im splitting my conversations into three sections - Hogs. Headaches. Houses.

P.s. I do have a hand watch actually..... But I suppose if were being bodypart specific, it would be a finger watch. Its like a ring.

Wednesday, June 1, 2011

BABIES

So, I've been down at my aunties house for several days now, and today we went for a glorious trip... To see her midwife!
There was birth pictures all over the walls and they talked about birth pain and pool births (which, apparently my mum did when my sister was born... I was a normal old, boring birth).
I never realised how many things you have to talk about when it come to giving birth.... It seems very complicated. Im pretty put off giving birth and babies and all thats involved for the time being!
There was even talk of ripping your girly bits apart with the babies shoulders!!

Either way, Im hungry.

Wednesday, May 25, 2011

THOW ME A BONE, WORLD!

When you're life seems to be lashing by, shainrg all it's great memories with everyone else - Giving everyone but you opportunities, sharing it's good luck around behind your back... It's easy to be stubborn. Because, you know, I didn't want it's luck anyway! Who needs those crappy oppertunities - I'M FINE. JUST LEAVE! I'm better without you anyway, World!
Thats easy. Stubborn Bitch is an easy role to play against the World. It's easy to pretend it doesn't hurt when you look at your life and know that your the reason it's not that exciting. Easy to just accept its not going to get any better - You know, all that "I've made my bed and now I've got to sleep in it!" nonsense.
Easy peasy lemon squeezy.

Where's the fight, aye?
Wheres the "Hang on world, everyone else got a bone, wheres mine?"
Wheres all that Stand-Up-For-What-You-Believe-In crap?
Wheres the will to put in some effort and FIGHT?

I know as well as you do where it is. Its chucked somewhere at the back of your mind, sealed in a box labelled 'Forget about it'. Its stacked right up there with 'yeah right!' and 'can't be fucked'.
Every so often you'll take a peek inside box 'Forget about it', just to see how that Effort you put in there is holding up.
You might even give it a go - Put a little effort into something; Go for a few walks, insist on getting up early, try a new recipe, Maybe even start a new project!
And for a little while, you forget why effort was so terrible in the first place.
But you see, effort is like going bikini shopping.
You know it has the potential to be unpleasant, yet you go anyway. On goes bikini One; UGH! - Off goes bikini two; double UGH!
Approximately 17 bikini's later, you'll find a half decent one.
Then you chance a glance behind you, and see the beauty of a big breasted super model trying on the exact same bikini.
Well, Fuck.

We shove Effort back into 'Forget about it' and bury it deep in out subconscious - After all, 'what to make for dinner' is a much larger and more important box. Why worry about... What was it? Effit? No, No. Dinner is a highly pressing matter.
And when out tummies are full, and minds are content with enthralling Soaps and Reality TV, we drift off into the wondrous heaven we call sleep.

When we wake up, however, what do we do?
We take a peek inside 'forget about it' box, looking for that bone the World forgot to throw us.

Thursday, May 19, 2011

Well that was a LIE

Haha my last post was all like "IM GOING TO START WRITING AGAIN! NOW!!"
ANd I was all pumped to keep my blog up to date, but what the hell?
No posts! I totally suck at this shizz.
Aaaanyway darrrlings. Im in a brilliant mood because I have a bunch of girly friends coming over for a SLEEPOVER tonight. It will be like pillow fights and eating candy off each others naked bodies and all the usual girly things...
Or maybe watching movies and having a spa... either or. Im not particularly bothered. But I've still got a few hours till the big event so I've already started on the chips... Ooh naughty me. But, to be fair, I did open the chicken chips and I don't really like those ones, so I'm not really eating them.

Watchign some girly as movie on sky. Its pretty great.  Even though I've already seen it about 3 times! Man sky's a bitch how it does that. Every 5 hours the same movies play over and over again.

If you can't tell already, Im not very interested in this post, my hearts not in it because Im just too darn distracted! So this will be a waste of your time for a generally crappy read! Talk later!

Monday, April 25, 2011

Fish

Fish: "Add a touch of nature to your page with these hungry little fish. Watch them as they follow your mouse hoping you will feed them by clicking the surface of the water."

Tuesday, April 5, 2011

IM BACK

Hello readers!
Im proud to say that I'll be putting more effort into my blog, and I'm sorry I've been such a slacker about it for the past month or two (oops). This is the part where I'm supposed to be like "But it wasn't my fault! I've been busy at work or busy stressing and raging about work!" Or "I haven't been home that much!!" Or "Whenever Im at home I'm just too tired... and our internets been really crap anayway, its just shuts down for no reason..."

All of which is true, but to be honest, its mainly just because I lost all my fingers in the biking accicdent and I've had to learn to type with my nose.

I've got a bunch to talk about. Its good, I'll try to spead out my fantastic and exciting news over the week instead of all in one post - I know that reading my nonsense can be a bit much for the ordinary brain to cope with (which is good, because I am now selling KBC. Also known as "Keep your Brain Coping!" which is an all natural medication specifically for those readers out there that just LOVE their daily dose of Orangejar!).

For one, I think I've decided on a name for my DARL'N car! Im thinking "Jaffa". Cause he is just another fcking aucklander, and hes red (ish). He isnt brown on the inside though (I mean, I do clean him sometimes).
Im actually scheduled to take him for a drive any moment now, Im having a DL with my dad. Driving lesson. Blegh.
I don't mind driving, but when its with dad, he always picks hard things like PARKING!

SO until we meet again, I'd watch your back if I were you.... Cause I'll be driving. I might very well run you down on accident if your not careful.

Friday, April 1, 2011

read-read-reading

SO, Since I last-last posted, several times ago, I have read an entire book series.
Which is great, but not great, you know?

I mean, I love readong alot! Beleive me, I do. But Its just, I discovered this series because I watched the movie "Percy Jackson and the lightening theif" with Tib, and I liked it. I then found out that it was based off the first book in the Percy Jackson series, which is actually 5 books.
Horray! I'd found some new books to read! Thanks to Whitcoulls, I got the first three books on sale in set. I then read all of those books over about 5 days, and went out on a quest to find the last two books (which actually prooved to be quite difficult. It seemed that nobody had them in stock! THE HORROR!!!).
(The Warehouse prevailed).

And so the book series is complete, and I'm 1/3 if the way through re-reading it.
I actually learnt from these books too, which is super cool. They're all about greek gods and stuff. Since the gods were actually the characters in the book, I naturally remembered everything about them and now know alot about greek mythology.

And it brings me to something that seriously annoys me - which in turn, annoys people that I watch movies with. When I film is based off a book, the film automatically sucks cause HARLY ANY OF IT EVEN HAPPENED IN THE BOOK.
Harry potter is a lvoerly example.

Tuesday, March 29, 2011

you know what they say about too much of a good thing...

quote title - They say its a bad thing right? too much of the good is the bad.
Its like, when you eat cake everyday it doesn't seem like its so amazing anymore. Cakes not exciting, you don't get hyped up about cake anymore because cakes the norm. In-fact, you wouldn't miss cake if if evaporated for 10 years, because cake is just so average that you WANT Brussel sprouts just to give cake a little bit of a higher level.
Its similar to house I used to write about the pro's and con's of holidays. In the right hand THANK THE HEAVENS for some free time! then in the left hand, what are you going to do with that free time?
Since I left school, it seems like everyday is a holiday... which means that essentially, no day is a holiday.
We'll. Thats not entirely true.
I mean. I've got work Wednesday to Friday (and most Saturdays). But... I hate that. I hate working my Wed - Fri shifts because I have nobody but my customers to talk to - and even to them I say the same thing!! The only ounce of difference I get in the day is if somebody asks for cream or yoghurt with their cake. Other wise, its just "and would you like any sugar?", "thats $13;20", "butter is an extra 30 cents", "have a nice day!".

 I like talking to customers, even if it is repetition, because every single other person at my work is foreign and/or related by marriage. My managers, which are the ones who talk to me most, despite the language barrier - only talk to me to tell me when Im doing things WRONG, and that I'm forgetful. And they forget things too, but when they tell each other off it doesn't matter because they own the entire business AND they're married.
It's not the most motivational thing to endure 18 hours a week of being frowned upon or ignored.
What can I say? I'm a people person, and I brought this on myself.

Now that I've got the tip of the FML Iceberg off my chest, I'll get back to what I was saying about everyday being a holiday. I end up feeling pretty crap if I don't accomplish something in my spare days. So today I did dishes (about 5 times), washing (about 3 loads, washed/dried/folded/put away- even ironed), painted my nieces play house, cleaned the inside of the sky lights, flea'd and wormed the dogs (I hate you Tyson, and your stupid Im-not-eating-that-tablet attitude), lounge/dining room vacuumed, beds made and I cooked. Twice. I even made dinner, for my loving family.... Who weren't even coming home.... what a waste of cottage pie.... After I'd made it and realized that nobody was going to be here to eat it, I got put off eating it myself because its entire savory goodness was a WASTE.

So now Im sitting here, STILL BY MYSELF the the cottage pie COLD on the bench collecting dust, and Im thinking to myself "so, what have I accomplished today?"

I big fat nothing. Congratulations.

Thursday, March 17, 2011

Efffiiitttt I cant sleep

F it, I've been in bed since 9:15pm, but I my brain was going 100 miles an hour (or 160.9km per hour, for those who like I, live in New Zealand), so I tried reading a book, I tried figuring out my dream meanings - which like my horoscope said, were actually very helpful, even if I still can't figure out what re-occurring dreams about being stabbed with needles means. Oh. I also read my horoscope to pass the time.
I drew a picture, then coloured it in, filled my water bottle... probably went to pee like, 5 times, out of sheer boredom.
Yet, it got to 10:30pm after all of that, and my brain was actually amazingly increasing its thought speed.
So I tried settling down, and thinking nice relaxing thoughts. They didn't stay that way, and went off on tangents about random things - which continued to keep me awake.

Im now severely frustrated that its 12:21 and Im STILL AWAKE, resorting to writing a blog post because if I don't occupy some of my thinking space I will inevitably remind myself that I HAVE WORK IN THE MORNING which is why I went to be at 9 in the first place!!!!!!!!
AND I AM SO TIRED!!!!!!!!! My body is aching from being so tired, today I could hardly keep my eyes open, and I literally didn't lift my feet off the ground when I walked, I probably lost 3mm of shoe rubber because I'm so tired.

This is what I get for having a nana nap at 6:30 till 8. IM STILL TIRED THOUGH, SO I SHOULD BE FALLING ASLEEP!!!!!!!!!!!! AAAAAAAAARRRRRRGGGGGGHHHHH

Monday, February 28, 2011

SMACK

This afternoon, I found myself standing in the shower gingerly touching my head (no pun intended), wincing, and wondering "Why me?"

When I was falling asleep last night, thinking the same question, the bruise wasn't quite as much of a lump. A painful lump, yes, but not a mountainous lump. But while I was innocently sleeping, it probably doubled in size and changed a few shades darker purple - I wouldn't know. Im growing hair over it.

I also thought that same question several moments after I gained my monumental bruise.
I was in the bathroom, looking for my toothbrush (turns out it wasn't there anyway, so I suffered for nothing). I knocked something from the shelf under the sink, so I naturally picked it up.
It was the 'up' part that I regret.
My process of standing up was... interrupted... By the bathroom sink....
I wish I hadn't felt the need to stand up so fast, because I hit my head so badly that it took about 5 seconds for me to get over the teeth chattering, vision blurring shock of "what the hell just happened?" to fully register just how much it hurt.
Until I realised the pain, I was wondering how on Earth my mum didn't wake up from such a thump.
As it throbbed and got hot, I thought about what I might have done to deserve it.

I remember when I was little, if I hit my head on something, or jammed my hand in the door, my nana would tell me "you tell that door to behave! You tell it that its a BAD door"
So I would, Id say "bad door!!" Then I'd hit it. And it would hurt.
Problem not solved.

Friday, February 25, 2011

Keep on digging, Mate.

You know, how some people just keep on talking and everybody who's listening can see that they're just pissing someone off. And they just don't even notice, they keep on talking about things. Then eventually, they notice what they're saying and try back tracking. But everything they say from then on digs them in a deeper hole.
It's like, Ive had it done to me heaps of times 'cause I have orange hair.
It's usually if somebody asks me if my hairs my natural colour.
And then someone spits out "well of course it is, WHO would die their hair ORANGE".
Then the backtracking starts. Theres two options that result from that comment, its either trying to dig themselves out like; "I didn't mean that your hair isn't nice.. I just mean that most orange hair isn't nice. Yours is more of a .. gold... and you just... you can pull it off.... Your skin tone is... it goes with your hair... and... and you like... you know which colours go well with... with it....."
Or they just laugh. Its like, either way is bad because nobody believes the digging and the laugh means "Well, It's still true".

Or theres the back handed compliments. Those are usually intentional though.
"See? You don't look fat in THIS one."
Or those comments when somebody's a bit TOO surprised.
"Wow! You actually look nice today!"
Adding actually is another, it implies that you thought otherwise. So when its put in a compliment, it means that they didn't think you were capable of accomplishing what they complimented you on.


Oh yeah, I cant drink milk in the mornings. It makes me feel sick.
Goodbye cereal.. its been good knowing you....

Tuesday, February 22, 2011

slips right through your fingers!

Time does, doesn't it?
Slip through?

Im my last post I said I'd right about  bunny within the next 4 days - Ha! What a joke! How long has it been? It must have been double that if not triple!
And what have I been spending my quality blog writing time doing? I have been vacuuming, learning the carpetcourt computer system, playing minecraft (man, my minecraft house is absolutely A-MAZING), and baking yorkshire puddings.

All worthy time wasters (appart from the computer system - booorrrinnnng), but none quite match up to writing a healthy post. A healthy post about bunnys, even!

Yup, thats right, Rodger is a bunny. Or was he called Rodger then? Hes now known as 'bunny' - I personally think that the first decision of 'fluffles' was the best option for him, but sure, bunnys equally as childish.

He's my sisters way of getting over her ex boyfriend. Some say 'to get over someone, get under somebody else', but buying a rabbit did the trick for Sta! That shows that meaningless sex doesn't solve all of lifes problems... Who knew?
You learn something new everyday!

He's a miniature lop eared rabbit. And since he's also a kitten (a baby rabbits called a kitten too, for those with a smaller amount of useless trivial knowledge than me), he's even smaller than 'miniature'.
He enjoys biting people and peeing on the couch, but he gets upset when you walk away from him because unlike normal rabbits - He's an attention seeker.

Weirdo.

Monday, February 14, 2011

ASAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAFL:jtrlkhntl;dk

I have so much to complain about right now, but complaining about it will only get me into ten trillion times more trouble. I've written about 4 posts so far, the first was angry and bitter. Filled with snide little immature comments. The second, showed a little more maturity, but was still lacking in the calm-and-collected department. The last two were very mature, and very calm, but still ... Well. Lets just say that I'm better off keeping my mouth shut and sucking it up.

Which is a oxymoron. I can't suck something up with my mouth shut (get your minds out of the gutter, you idiots!).


Yes, I am just going to take the back seat and sit this one out. I'm sure that this little spat I'm stuck in will eventually resolve itself. All the complaints can swirl around in my head and I'll try to get satisfaction from the thought that at least this wont last long. Well. Actually. It probably will last ages....
But I can do my best to make it a minor problem thats more like a buzz in the back of my head, then the current screetching car alarm celotaped to my face.

Thursday, February 10, 2011

"What to do" X3

What to do, what to do, what to do...

It's such a hard sentance of three of the same questions to answer, isn't it?

It would be the same though when it comes to most questions. Its like the asker is pushing or bullying the answerer by repeating themself.
What do you want for lunch?
How about sa-
WHAT do you want for lunch??
Sandwi-
WHAT DO YOU WANT FOR LUNCH????
Sandwiches?!!! OKAY??? I WANT SANDWICHES!!!!!!!!!!!

They would then be very soggy and salty sanwiches, cause the answeree was reduced to confused tears.

Anyway, Im stuck with a bunch of questions that need to have some serious thought put into them - but really, I don't want to think about it. Im going to go home and read Harry Potter, maybe eat some ice cream... Tibs coming over, so maybe watch a movie? Have a spa? Play with Rodger? (Rodger is still yet to be explained, give me about 4 days and I'll get around to enlightening you about him)
(Actually... He might not even be called Rodger, it looks like he might be labeled 'bunny').

I guess is doesn't matter if I dodge the thoughtful questions tonight, because I know Im going to get them drilled into my brain for a good.. I don't know... 3 hours tomorrow morning?
You see, I am going on a road trip with my mum and dad (yes, you read me correctly. My MUM and DAD together in the SAME CAR for 3 HOURS. Dear god...) to go and get my car :)
You also heard correctly, I now have a car. Or will, tomorrow.

It was a very... long and ... frustrating process, picking a car was. I found a whole bunch I wanted, but my dad is very.... careful.... about cars. He likes to make sure they are perfect.... And safe... They have to be incredibly safe....

You'd think that Im going to try drive off the Harbour Bridge or something.

Oh well. A cars a car.
Its white though, I have no idea how I'm going to make it MY car.

Wednesday, February 9, 2011

Mammoth the moth

My phobia of moths was very nearly squished out of me when I met Mammoth.
Well, several minutes after I'd met mammoth. At first he was like a furry winged nightmare.
But as I watched him, and after martin touched him and he didn't launch into attack mode, I realized that Mammoth couldn't be all that dangerous... He was even kinda cute.

It took several minutes, and my incredibly daring boyfriend, for me to really grow to trust Mammoth. Tib picked him up and showed that he meant no harm, because he himself had been harmed. You see, Mammoth cannot fly. He's lost his flying dust and his wings are a bit torn...

Despite his alarmingly large size, I began to feel sorry for Mammoth, I be-friended him. I was reconsidering a lifetimes worth of terror over moths. We found him a safe and comfortable new home, where he would fit in and be happy (my firewood pile. He blends right in).

It wasn't long before he was dubbed 'Mammoth'. It seems so obvious now, that this was his name all along. He is large and furry and brave. Yet still a bit cute.

In the end, I was so emotionally tied to him that I rebelled against my better nature and I touched him - a feat I never thought to accomplish.







NOTE: When I wrote "furry winged nightmare" I first wrote "furry wanged nightmate" on accident.

Monday, February 7, 2011

Work

Alright, so I'm actually typing for my shiny brand new work.
Its ... different.... going to work in the mornings. I resent work when I wake up, because naturally, my sleeping mind is furious about being disturbed and it protests violently until my waking mind tells it to shut up and pull its head in.

Im kinda of on a break at the moment... my... tutor? is onthe phone next to me, he might need the computer in a few seconds so this post could be shut off short...

Although, it looks like he might not be. Oh wait, now some more work has come in, theres a catalogue that needs changes done. Hmm. A catalogue sounds a little bit out of my depth, since I've just been fiddling around with business cards and such...

Well. We'll have to wait and see.

Ta!

Saturday, February 5, 2011

Ups downs and just all over the place.

Well the day started alright, considering that I was missing my wallet and my handbag. Thanks to it being locked away in a carpet court car, goodness knows where.
I was sent on my way to the beach (mural painting) by my dearest mother and her husband. They gave me $20 for busing home that night, horray, surely I would need a whole $20 for the bus?
Mum also tried forcing her cashflow card on me, you know, incase of emergencies. She was worried because she was out celebrating that night, and couldnt save me if stranded.
But I said No mum! I mean, what could happen? Really?

So the day started good. Aside from the early start.

It continued being good, we finished the mural in good time, then us painted all flocked to browns bay were we ate junkfood (I had a yoghurt. Mmmmm and a kitkat). I managed to eat both fish and chips and noodle canteen without paying for either. I only spent $6 on my yummy treats.

Whilst there, we found my photography teacher and his adorable baby girl. Its always loverly seeing a favorite teacher again... We also saw my English teacher and her little black labrador puppy - only three months. The sweetest thing.

It then came apparent that I wasn't busing from browns bay to albany to home, as I thought. I found that I was getting a lift to Albany from a fellow painter.

Those were my ups of the day. Theres a large bunch right? reasonably impressive? Yeah.

My downs were that it turns out my bus doesn't go any later than 7:45pm and I was stranded there. I greatly considered my chances of walking home, it wouldn't have taken more that 3 hours I don't think. Although It was starting to get dark and I was wearing black - and would need to walk along a country road.

I then tried contacting friends and family to save me, nobody seemed available. I decided to walk to my grandparents house - surely no more than a 2 hour walk. No country road. It looked like my safest option.

I was covered in paint, and in a tshirt and short shorts. It was pretty cold. Getting colder as the darkness grew.

Luckily for me, as I was part way through my walk, a friend txt me and said they could take me home - I payed them some of my bus money. That was an up of the day.

There were a couple of real downs of the day that I don't want to talk about though.
I don't feel like today was a success.
It was pretty crap in the end.

Monday, January 31, 2011

Planning and Planting

Its been feeling so busy recently, life has.
It seems theres something happening in all directions - theres so many plans in the making, to be make and have yet to be made. Its this whole 'getting into the real world' crap that us now ex-students are shoved into at this time of year is no piece of cake.

I don't have it half as bad as most of my friends, which SHOULD be a comfort, but really I feel just as small and insignificant as the rest of them. But thats okay, really *everybody's* small and insignificant compared to things like Earth and the Sun!!! Not that that even matters.

So, this morning felt busy and stressful because I got a whole bunch of phone calls within a space of like half an hour. Everyone who called wanted to know something and organise something and it was just irritating because I'd only just gotten out of bed!
Admittedly... It was 10am.... A reasonable hour... But still.
And also, two of the people who called told me I had to change my cellphone answerphone message! I mean, really?
Okay, it wasn't the most professional message, and okay, it had been on there since 2007, and okay, I had been meaning to change it for a good year and a half now. But, really?

I spent the remainder of the day since 1pm cleaning the house up. I felt great about it, because now (thanks to me) the kitchens completely clean, as are both bathrooms and several bedrooms. Every single piece or washing is clean and dry and there is only one pile left thats waiting to be ironed (I might get around to it, who knows?).

I re-potted two plants as well! What gorgeous little things they are! One is some form of yellow flowering plant, I found him UNDER THE DECK (what an outrage!) because somebody had knocked him down there and not even planted him! He was withering away, and nobody cared or even noticed he was gone..
He's much happier now, all planted and watered.

I found some distant cousins of a Dahlia flower I had last year. They are happily growing in mums flower pot now, although they are unwelcome because they don't match the colour regime..



The second plant I replanted, I have named Ron. After Ronald Weasley!
I think now, that it may have been a bad idea giving him that name, because he's in a pretty bad state and he very well may die... You see, about 2 weeks ago i found the mangled remains of some kind of small plant. My retriever, Tyson, had been.. err... taking it on a 'outing' that day... Well. Today, I found the other part of the plant, the part that he'd ripped the other section off from.
Im surprised it hadn't shriveled up and died, to be honest. Its pretty much a little branch with two leaves and roots. Poor thing...
Oh well. He's not situated right outside my bedroom window so that I can monitor his progress.

Good luck Ron!

Saturday, January 29, 2011

Cars and stuff.

So Ive recently tried to get myself into the car world. Meaning, that I want to just get my license and a car - just get it over with! And at the same time I want to get into the workforce - I realized that as much as I didn't... enjoy that idea... that I might as well get it over with, and in order for me to get to work on time I need a way to do that... so it brings me back to a car.

And would you believe, that I was actually really excited about finding my first car! But I'm not so excited now because every single first car that I have found and wanted had got something WRONG with it. Not like, its broken, but just that its not very safe, or its too big or something.....

This whole first car thing is hardly as exciting and motivating as I'd hoped it would be, and thats a real bad thing cause I could do with a healthy dose of motivation right now.

I found one that I absolutely love - but one problem is its a manual, which I haven't currently been learning in. This is easily solved however, because I can simply start learning in one from now on. The second and most important problem is that is doesn't have either air bags or ABS brakes which are the two requirements (Well, two most important requirements) that my dad has set for me in order for me to get a car that he approves of.

Monday, January 24, 2011

Needles and .. dead... horses?!

Alright, so I spent the day at work today (doing the usual cleaning and phone answering duties, plus cleaning out this truly HORRIFYING cupboard that could quite possibly be harboring the gates to Narnia and Middle Earth). I have gained several photo frames and a loverly vanilla scented candle from Carpet Court today - thank you!!

I have also gained a *possible job opportunity*, which I'm pretty interested in! HOPE IT ALL GOES WELL.
Id say that my day has been pretty beneficial, but I also suffered headache-itis all day and I had to have my blood test. I'm glad I got it over with...

Although, I'm pretty bummed about the woman who did it. She was foreign. And I was like "I know it might seem childish to ask.. but DOES IT HURT?! I haven't had one before! I don't even know my blood type!!!"
So she says "Yes it hurts but then it goes away".
I mean. How the F is that supposed to reassure me?!
"Yes" it will hurt???

OH well. It didn't really hurt. It was just really horrible the anticipation, and the needle was only in my arm for about 3o seconds, then she was done and she had way more blood that I thought she would have had in that time.
I didn't even get THAT dizzy or anything. Just.. really tired.

Oh yeah, I got home, and mum used another of her mental sayings (one I'd never heard before, goodness knows where she's getting them all from). She said "like flogging a dead horse".
It's when your defending or trying to talk up something that really useless.
For example, to be trying to sell a car with no wheels and an engine so rusted over that the entire car looks orange even though its painted green. Saying that its the best car ever and it rides beautifully, you can hear the engine purr when you turn it on. Then look at the car, and you can tell that the person was 'flogging a dead horse'.

Sunday, January 23, 2011

Periods!

Boys... they are so lucky. I would happily take an embarrassing erection infront of a teacher rather than have my stupid period.
I mean, at least eretions only last for a little while, periods can last up to a fxcking week long!

And along with them we get mood swings (I HATE THEM), headaches, period pain, GROSSNESS and more headaches! Well. Periodheadaches run in my family and I have very unsuccessfully not managed to escape that gene.
Thanks mum! I'll go load up on panadol and crawl into bed to DIE for a week now.

Fml.

Saturday, January 22, 2011

"great"

You know, how when something happens that really just... doesn't work for you. Like, you dropped your ice cream, or your coke bottle bubbly-exploded on you, or your nice night to yourself got stolen by some stupid chore or outing.
And in your head (or out loud, depending on how much it sucks), you say "Greeat".
Saying 'great' sarcastically doesn't make anybody feel better, but atleast its a way of getting your opinion out there.

I'm saying it right now, in my head.
Its kind of like... you say it when you knew that a good thing was going to be ruined somehow. Like when it rains on a day that you want to go to the beach.

I don't want to go out to dinner tonight, but I have to, and I don't get any say in when I get there or leave. I'll be forced to join the conversation and listen to boring things ... There will be interesting things too... but Im TIRED and I wanted a nice relaxing night where I could go to bed early. But NAH.
Nah, Im going to go have intellectual and enlightening conversation about my career options, my driving lesson progress and probably get forced into a conversation about divorce or my 'feelings'.

.... Great.

Wednesday, January 19, 2011

shots shots shots shots shots shots

I have had this song from clubbing last night stuck in my head all day.
With everything I do, like eating lunch and paying the bus driver, I can hear it in the back of my head. Its like really inappropriate background music! Im talking to the bus driver like "two stages please" and its like SHOTS SHOTS SHOTS SHOTS SHOTS SHOTS in the background. Its like Im about to burst out dancing with the driver, and the whole bus load of people will turn the bus into a club.

But yeah, I went to town last night, and am still covered in half sweated-off stamps. Its a really sexy look.


It was really fun last night, I really enjoyed seeing everybody and just the atmosphere! it was A Mazing. Had a weird dream when I got home though, it was a whole group of my friends all chucked in a store like K-Mart. And there was this kinda TV show presenter who was like;
Okay, now the aim of the game is to survive! GO!

And then he released a whole gang of sexual predators and velociraptors and murderers. So really, the dream was entirely based around escaping from being eaten raped and killed (or, potentially... all of the above, in the case of sexual predator...).
I was trying to hide behind a fridge (in the kitchen appliances department) when a creepy old man grabbed my leg and tried dragging me away with him.

It was... a weird one. Not really scary but just... weird.

Tuesday, January 18, 2011

mmmmm

Muffin just made me a sandwhich. Isn't that ironic? Its like a food joke, but shes not actually food and the sandwhich is!
It's like, a sandwhich could never bake me a batch of muffins.....

Monday, January 17, 2011

Recently . . .

So, I've actually done alot that I haven't informed you of - shocking. I know.

But aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaarrggghhh!!! freaky! Theres this new printer we just got - not plugged in though, considering I know bugger all about wires and connections and whats it. Anyway, just as I was preparing my gigantic brain to relay all the information I've been witholding from my blog, when the printer starts making noise!
I got a bit of a fright, to be completely honest. It was a ticking-clicking noise. You know, like when the toasted sandwhich maker is cooling down? Yeah.

So yup. I went for a big walk with Tib the other day, it was on the Stillwater bushwalk (gorgeous scenery, so naturally my beloved camera (who goes by the name "Clicka) accompanied us). It was great! We walked along the shore - and found half an octopus in a puddle!
I was ensured it wasn't a squid, so its surely an octopus? I think It still might be squidly.

Well.. It's remains are squidly.


Yup, our walk was great. The flora and fauna was beautiful (for non New Zealanders, or those who are city dwellers or just a bit dim; Flora is flowers, and fauna is plants). Although, all the trees that I found interesting were beastly large in size and very... well. Dead.





It was a wonderful walk, believe me.

You know how that saying actually goes "believe you me" ?
I hate it. What the hells the point in that? It doesn't even make any sense! Its like believe yourself if you were me? Or is it just like 'Believe yourself - oh no wait. Believe me. Thats what I meant."

I've never understood that one.
Then again... Mums got a saying "Like a streak of weasel piss" which apparently means something moved fast. W. T. F ?
Why weasel piss? Why not dog or cat? Infact... why piss at all?
There is plenty of things out there faster than an animal peeing.

Sunday, January 16, 2011

My terrifying night-terror experience.

So, this morning, I was trying to just rest a bit because I've had a really tiring week. I said to myself "alright, I'll just rest for 5 minutes and not think about anything". SO you know, at first I lay down to enjoy my rest and I just repeated the word 'rest' in my head. But as soon as I fully relax my brain does its own thing and the dreams start.

So the first dream began as I saw two little girls jump off the harbor bridge, so Tib and I dove in afterwards to save them... As we were helping them we found a little boat just in time to escape a shark attack.
We then ran into a building to escape but it was filled with zombies and creepy animal people. So I woke after that.

And set an alarm for myself in 5 minutes, you know, to prevent further nightmarish non restful dreams. Yet, in that 5 minutes I dreamt that I woke up, got up and started making breakfast.
Then my alarm went off.

So I set another alarm for 5 minutes. The same dream, except I was talking to my sister this time not making breakfast.
My alarm went off.

SO I set it for 10 minutes, and I focused on resting and relaxing. I fell asleep and got sleep paralysis. God it was horrible. I'll do my best to explain it, but unless you've had it yourself you wouldn't realize how terrifying it is.
I dreamt that I woke up, but I couldn't move. Also my eyes were fuzzy around the edges. I dreamt that I no matter how hard I tried, I couldn't lift my head form the pillow and I couldn't move. The dream feels incredibly real.
Sleep paralysis is when you literally cannot wake up. And I could feel my legs and arms thrashing around but in my dream I wasn't moving.

After what felt like ages I woke up, and looked at the clock....

It had only been 6 minutes....