Thursday, May 31, 2012
Reflections
'Eye' am a cyclops
Obviously, I had some spare time. This is a picture I took on my phone, and I was looking at it this morning thinking that maybe you devoted readers might like a peek. Now, I know it doesn't make sense for a cyclops to have a right eye in the middle of his face, so I should have made the eye lashes go all the way across, but when I painted it there was no intention of playing Cyclops City.
Nor was there any intention of me painting a matching left eye.
I might also point out, for those of you who don't know, that this is not a picture of me (well, it's my arm). I do not have a penis - not when I last checked anyway - or short hair, or facial hair. Although you can't see the facial hair right now on this handsome gentleman, I assure you its there. It's there and its prickly.
I might also point out that the white floral metal parts in the background are NOT my choice of bed frame. I simply came home one day and my bed had been replaced. I think the reason it happened whilst I was out, is because deep down mum knew that I wouldn't like it. She also painted my walls white and gave me a black, white and red duvet cover... ugh.
But I guess I can't be bitter for ever - that was like 2 years ago. We don't even live in that house anymore. The bed will always remind me though....
Vacuum fatality
I once said I would strangle the vacuum cleaner at work. Apparently I wasn't the only one bearing ill feelings towards that little bastard. Although I had (frequently) dreamed about it's demise, tearing it limb from limb was too violent for my tastes. Its sabotage remains a mystery, and I can safely say there is more that one person here who qualifies for a valid suspect.
It had been patched up terribly. When I went to use it, I was pulling it along thinking how remarkably light it was - maybe it was on a new diet? - when I turned to see I was just carrying its disembodied tube.
The poor thing was a mess.
A mess that it RIGHTFULLY DESERVED. But a mess none the less.
After I used my highly qualified medical skills, it was looking much better (as you can see), and it may yet live to see another day. That is, if someone doesn't torch it or drown it while Im on my weekend.
I can't honestly say I would miss it, if I came back to find it a puddle of melted plastic.
It had been patched up terribly. When I went to use it, I was pulling it along thinking how remarkably light it was - maybe it was on a new diet? - when I turned to see I was just carrying its disembodied tube.
The poor thing was a mess.
A mess that it RIGHTFULLY DESERVED. But a mess none the less.
After I used my highly qualified medical skills, it was looking much better (as you can see), and it may yet live to see another day. That is, if someone doesn't torch it or drown it while Im on my weekend.
I can't honestly say I would miss it, if I came back to find it a puddle of melted plastic.
Friday, May 11, 2012
Beaten black and blue
You know those bruises that arent bruises?
The ones that hurt SO MUCH but you can't see them? Or they show up after a few days, but they're actually really small?
I've got those. Last night I was trying to look somewhat dignified while I was taking my jeans off, because no matter how you do it, you ALWAYS look like a spaz while your taking jeans off.
I almost succeeded too, but one of the legs got caught on my foot at the last moment, and I pulled my leg out from under me and went face first into the bed. I managed to right my balance by accidentally slamming both my for arms into the metal framing of the edge of the bed.
So my arms and my face slowed my fall, and I got two massive hidden bruises up my arms! Luckily, my face was spared too much damage. The colour of the bruises wont show up (well. My right arm has a faint purple look about it), but the swelling bloody well showed up!
I HAD BALLOON ARMS.
Anyway, I have these weird bruises on my shins too, but I haven't a clue to save myself on how I got them. Ill I know is they hurt, and I look like a pansy with no pain tolerance if I complain.
So I suffer in silence.
The ones that hurt SO MUCH but you can't see them? Or they show up after a few days, but they're actually really small?
I've got those. Last night I was trying to look somewhat dignified while I was taking my jeans off, because no matter how you do it, you ALWAYS look like a spaz while your taking jeans off.
I almost succeeded too, but one of the legs got caught on my foot at the last moment, and I pulled my leg out from under me and went face first into the bed. I managed to right my balance by accidentally slamming both my for arms into the metal framing of the edge of the bed.
So my arms and my face slowed my fall, and I got two massive hidden bruises up my arms! Luckily, my face was spared too much damage. The colour of the bruises wont show up (well. My right arm has a faint purple look about it), but the swelling bloody well showed up!
I HAD BALLOON ARMS.
Anyway, I have these weird bruises on my shins too, but I haven't a clue to save myself on how I got them. Ill I know is they hurt, and I look like a pansy with no pain tolerance if I complain.
So I suffer in silence.
CRASHED MY CAR
So yesterday I was in an incredibly serious car crash - I'm amazed Im still alive. I should be wrapped head to toe in bandages, with tubes out my arms and pain meds in my system.
I had just arrived at home, and pulled into the driveway when I realized that all the builders were still here. Id wanted to sit back and relax, maybe read a bit, eat some cookies, drink ginger beer.. But I didn't want to spend my time with the hammering and drilling. WHO can read to that?
It would interrupt every sentence you read!
"And thats when the BANG mail arrived. The postman BANG BANG was a huge fat man, BANG with a giant mustBANGache. It was as long as he was BANG.. as long as he was tall, and dragged on the BANG floor while he searcBANG BANG. Dragged on the... on the floor while he BANG... while... he... Where was I up to?"
Anyway, so I reversed out the drive way, and realised - where am I even going to go now? So I pulled over to choose my next destination. Unfortunately I pulled over into a tree. My brain was off dancing with fairies somewhere, leaving me to fend for myself, so I crashed.
I had that dumb expression on my face - an 'o' for a mouth and wide eyes.
I felt like suuuuch and idiiioooooottttt..
My car was OKAY. I guess. His poor indicator was smashed and a little bit of the pink was smashed too!!!! But its not very noticeable.
I taped it back together :)
Good as gold now!
The tree got out of it with minor scratches. Bastard.
I had just arrived at home, and pulled into the driveway when I realized that all the builders were still here. Id wanted to sit back and relax, maybe read a bit, eat some cookies, drink ginger beer.. But I didn't want to spend my time with the hammering and drilling. WHO can read to that?
It would interrupt every sentence you read!
"And thats when the BANG mail arrived. The postman BANG BANG was a huge fat man, BANG with a giant mustBANGache. It was as long as he was BANG.. as long as he was tall, and dragged on the BANG floor while he searcBANG BANG. Dragged on the... on the floor while he BANG... while... he... Where was I up to?"
Anyway, so I reversed out the drive way, and realised - where am I even going to go now? So I pulled over to choose my next destination. Unfortunately I pulled over into a tree. My brain was off dancing with fairies somewhere, leaving me to fend for myself, so I crashed.
I had that dumb expression on my face - an 'o' for a mouth and wide eyes.
I felt like suuuuch and idiiioooooottttt..
My car was OKAY. I guess. His poor indicator was smashed and a little bit of the pink was smashed too!!!! But its not very noticeable.
I taped it back together :)
Good as gold now!
The tree got out of it with minor scratches. Bastard.
Friday, May 4, 2012
Sleep
So last night, I thought I did alot. I went out and got ingredients for a late dinner, then made it, I had two glasses of wine, watched some episodes of bleach. To me it felt REALLY late when I was super tired, and dragged myself to bed. Turns out it was 9.30.
Now, I know that I'm a sucker for sleep anyway, but being sick is just making it all backwards. This morning I got up at 8:20. Yesterday I woke up at 10 to 7am, then tried falling back asleep and couldn't.
I've always been a person to try stick to my '8 hours sleep a night' rule, and fretted about it if I lost some of my precious Z's...
But I'm usually capable of staying up late if I want.
But this cold! Man! It really takes it out of you!
I've been completely exhausted since like Tuesday, and want sleep ALL THE TIME. But since I couldn't take any time off work, I couldn't sleep off the sickness, so now I'm stuck with it.
I slept so much this weekend, and even now that my sunday (your saturday) is drawing to a close, Im STILL exhausted.
I feel even more so, if thats possible. This bloody cold is like a leech that lives in my stomach, and eats all the nutrients and sugars and carbs and ANYTHING that might possibly give me energy to make it through the day without certain death. That, and the leech makes my nose run, my head hurt and makes me cough (somehow)!
And then theres work tomorrow...
How will I even make it through that??
SOMEBODY gouge my eyes out, so I can't even have a hope of serving customers because they will be so disgusted at the state of my gore covered face that they will all run screaming, then the company will go under because there wont be any customers. I mean COME ON. Is this what its come to?
Maybe I should just break and arm or something.
Oooh or a leg, that way I can't walk around at work. With a broken arm she might still make me work - I mean, most people could work somewhat sufficiently with one hand.
Whimper*
Life's so hard..
Now, I know that I'm a sucker for sleep anyway, but being sick is just making it all backwards. This morning I got up at 8:20. Yesterday I woke up at 10 to 7am, then tried falling back asleep and couldn't.
I've always been a person to try stick to my '8 hours sleep a night' rule, and fretted about it if I lost some of my precious Z's...
But I'm usually capable of staying up late if I want.
But this cold! Man! It really takes it out of you!
I've been completely exhausted since like Tuesday, and want sleep ALL THE TIME. But since I couldn't take any time off work, I couldn't sleep off the sickness, so now I'm stuck with it.
I slept so much this weekend, and even now that my sunday (your saturday) is drawing to a close, Im STILL exhausted.
I feel even more so, if thats possible. This bloody cold is like a leech that lives in my stomach, and eats all the nutrients and sugars and carbs and ANYTHING that might possibly give me energy to make it through the day without certain death. That, and the leech makes my nose run, my head hurt and makes me cough (somehow)!
And then theres work tomorrow...
How will I even make it through that??
SOMEBODY gouge my eyes out, so I can't even have a hope of serving customers because they will be so disgusted at the state of my gore covered face that they will all run screaming, then the company will go under because there wont be any customers. I mean COME ON. Is this what its come to?
Maybe I should just break and arm or something.
Oooh or a leg, that way I can't walk around at work. With a broken arm she might still make me work - I mean, most people could work somewhat sufficiently with one hand.
Whimper*
Life's so hard..
Wednesday, May 2, 2012
Dream time
Last night, I had a DREAM.
Thats right folks! A dream! Not a nightmare!
It was just as messed up as my nightmares, but it wasn't BAD. It was good. Almost.. plain.
My recollection may be missing details because as the day goes on, I tend to forget bits,
Well. I was at my friends house ... John*.
John was getting something from his bedroom, and I was looking at the extremely ridiculous amount of thermal tops in his room. Hundreds of them. Hung up, folded up, thrown over things, on the floor... All were white and short sleeved. When I asked him about it, he said he never wears any of them.
I blame work for this one, they were even the same brand and style as the ones at work.
Anyway, suddenly I wasn't there anymore. I was at my front door step, facing out towards the driveway.
I lived in an estate; all the houses were huge, pretty and expensive.
I was looking towards the house across the street, like I really needed to be there. So I walked towards the house, and up the drive, to the front door - but it wasn't a front door, it was like the wall was just not there. There was mosquito netting covering the whole wall, and I could see into the lounge.
In the lounge was about 5 people, who all looked almost exactly the same - barely any differentiation between male and female. All were staring at me.
One of the girls (I think) nodded towards a guy on the couch, who got up and walked over to the netting. It was john! He somehow materialized next to me, outside the netting.
He was like "what can I do for you?"
And I was like "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to be here. I was just going to my letter box and... kept walking".
So he started showing me around his garden (no, that wasn't a metaphor. This is a PG dream guys).
During the grand garden tour, we started walking up this huge hill - which would be out of place in any other normal garden, but an estate garden shows no limits. It can be as big as it wants.
At the top of the hill was a base ball field. Sure.
I suggested he come to my house, so I can give him a tour too.
So down the hill and across the road we go. I don't actually remember what my house looked like, inside or out. But the garden at MY house was AWESOME.
It had a huuuuuge deck, and big outdoor table and chairs, with my whole family and all my friends - muffin and ba were both there - who were having a BBQ for breakfast (yup, it was breakfast time). They were cooking sausages. Then a bunch of my friends and I went along the bush walk, that followed a river, that was in my massive forest of a garden. And I was pointing out to them how the eels in the river were all rainbow coloured ... And they were. They also had like... hair styles... that flowed out behind them in the current.
I don't remember much more. Just that I smiled alot, and so did the people I was with.
All in all, it was a really good dream for me. I hope that doesn't mean that tonight will be 5 times as bad than usual to make up for it.
Thats right folks! A dream! Not a nightmare!
It was just as messed up as my nightmares, but it wasn't BAD. It was good. Almost.. plain.
My recollection may be missing details because as the day goes on, I tend to forget bits,
Well. I was at my friends house ... John*.
John was getting something from his bedroom, and I was looking at the extremely ridiculous amount of thermal tops in his room. Hundreds of them. Hung up, folded up, thrown over things, on the floor... All were white and short sleeved. When I asked him about it, he said he never wears any of them.
I blame work for this one, they were even the same brand and style as the ones at work.
Anyway, suddenly I wasn't there anymore. I was at my front door step, facing out towards the driveway.
I lived in an estate; all the houses were huge, pretty and expensive.
I was looking towards the house across the street, like I really needed to be there. So I walked towards the house, and up the drive, to the front door - but it wasn't a front door, it was like the wall was just not there. There was mosquito netting covering the whole wall, and I could see into the lounge.
In the lounge was about 5 people, who all looked almost exactly the same - barely any differentiation between male and female. All were staring at me.
One of the girls (I think) nodded towards a guy on the couch, who got up and walked over to the netting. It was john! He somehow materialized next to me, outside the netting.
He was like "what can I do for you?"
And I was like "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to be here. I was just going to my letter box and... kept walking".
So he started showing me around his garden (no, that wasn't a metaphor. This is a PG dream guys).
During the grand garden tour, we started walking up this huge hill - which would be out of place in any other normal garden, but an estate garden shows no limits. It can be as big as it wants.
At the top of the hill was a base ball field. Sure.
I suggested he come to my house, so I can give him a tour too.
So down the hill and across the road we go. I don't actually remember what my house looked like, inside or out. But the garden at MY house was AWESOME.
It had a huuuuuge deck, and big outdoor table and chairs, with my whole family and all my friends - muffin and ba were both there - who were having a BBQ for breakfast (yup, it was breakfast time). They were cooking sausages. Then a bunch of my friends and I went along the bush walk, that followed a river, that was in my massive forest of a garden. And I was pointing out to them how the eels in the river were all rainbow coloured ... And they were. They also had like... hair styles... that flowed out behind them in the current.
All in all, it was a really good dream for me. I hope that doesn't mean that tonight will be 5 times as bad than usual to make up for it.
demolition and reconstruction
My bedroom is getting re-shaped.
I'd say its got a personal trainer at some jazzy gym, and its gonna be on an intense diet - like, NO CARBS, NO SUGARS, NO FUN.
But when the renovations are over, it will actually be shorter and wider. So its going on the standard See-Food diet. Its going to be like, twice the length - which is great, you know, but I did just try take furniture OUT of my room. I was trying to cut out all the unnecessary things I collect...
Guess I've got an excuse to go shopping.
I could get a TV for my room? I never saw the point in it because I don't actually watch TV much, and any movies I watch I can do so from the computer...
I could get a couch? But then, I have a bed. Whats the point in a couch? I can just sit on my bed.
I could get a mini fridge? I think that just means I'm lazy - can't even make it to the kitchen for milk.
Oooh I could get a BIGGER desk. I did only just get this one I'm using now (like, I got it a month ago), but it is very small... If I had a bigger desk, then I wouldn't use my bed for painting (in theory. I am used to painting on that angle).
I could get a large ornamental object. Its sole purpose would be to collect dust. Like, a wooden sculpture of a sea horse thats 2m high by 1m wide and deep. Stick it right in the middle, and paint it ROYGBIV.
Maybe I could just... fill the extra space with a patterned rug.
I drew a map out of it. Its actually pretty accurate - thats what my bed looks like (or will look like when I put my new WINTER duvet cover on it, one that has NO paint on it so far). Thats the patterned rug. And the beige in the corner will be my new BIG corner desk. The rainbow squiggle is my seahorse sculpture. The blue green line at the top will be my feature wall - Im still deciding on the colour. I've had teal as a FW before, and loved it, but shouldn't I try something different? I've had red too (not my choice, the room was already painted when we moved in.. I'd NEVER choose red.
Uuum the wardrobe covers a whole wall cause Im not sure exactly where its going to be... The various line on the walls are either painting or windows.
OH CRAP. I didn't put my book case in it! Um. It can go where-ever my wardrobe isn't on that right hand wall. Maybe I should get a new book case - I have a few books that are getting a little crammed...
I'd say its got a personal trainer at some jazzy gym, and its gonna be on an intense diet - like, NO CARBS, NO SUGARS, NO FUN.
But when the renovations are over, it will actually be shorter and wider. So its going on the standard See-Food diet. Its going to be like, twice the length - which is great, you know, but I did just try take furniture OUT of my room. I was trying to cut out all the unnecessary things I collect...
Guess I've got an excuse to go shopping.
I could get a TV for my room? I never saw the point in it because I don't actually watch TV much, and any movies I watch I can do so from the computer...
I could get a couch? But then, I have a bed. Whats the point in a couch? I can just sit on my bed.
I could get a mini fridge? I think that just means I'm lazy - can't even make it to the kitchen for milk.
Oooh I could get a BIGGER desk. I did only just get this one I'm using now (like, I got it a month ago), but it is very small... If I had a bigger desk, then I wouldn't use my bed for painting (in theory. I am used to painting on that angle).
I could get a large ornamental object. Its sole purpose would be to collect dust. Like, a wooden sculpture of a sea horse thats 2m high by 1m wide and deep. Stick it right in the middle, and paint it ROYGBIV.
Maybe I could just... fill the extra space with a patterned rug.
I drew a map out of it. Its actually pretty accurate - thats what my bed looks like (or will look like when I put my new WINTER duvet cover on it, one that has NO paint on it so far). Thats the patterned rug. And the beige in the corner will be my new BIG corner desk. The rainbow squiggle is my seahorse sculpture. The blue green line at the top will be my feature wall - Im still deciding on the colour. I've had teal as a FW before, and loved it, but shouldn't I try something different? I've had red too (not my choice, the room was already painted when we moved in.. I'd NEVER choose red.
Uuum the wardrobe covers a whole wall cause Im not sure exactly where its going to be... The various line on the walls are either painting or windows.
OH CRAP. I didn't put my book case in it! Um. It can go where-ever my wardrobe isn't on that right hand wall. Maybe I should get a new book case - I have a few books that are getting a little crammed...
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