Fish.

I have this fish, right.
I'm actually surprised I haven't written about him before, he's a frequent topic of conversation at home. The whole family hates him. I like him, but I'm the only one....

He's a Zebra danio. His names either Bikebits, Gertrude, Rectum, Steven or ... or... I can't remember the last name. There was 5, and they all looked the same so I don't know which one he is.

Over the past... god, how many years now? Like 6 years? I have had a total of 10 zebra danios, buying them in sets of 5. After the first 4 died, I bought another 5. I named the second 5 Pinky, Ring, Middle Index and Thumb. I also bought three sucky fish at that time, two with brown spots and one orange one...

All have died except this ONE fish. Its from the first 5, I know. Because its bent, like. Its a corner shaped fish. I don't know what happened, because it bent gradually over time....
I'm beginning to suspect he may very well be a psycho serial killer murderer fish. I mean. That is 11 deaths. On one day, 4 died at once. Not even joking.
The three sucky fish just disappeared, I never saw what happened to them. Never saw them again. No note, no ransom, no bodies, no nothing.

The others died off one by one. Until there was only him and one other fish left. Another danio. I felt sorry for it as time went on, because Mr Bent was such a bully. He was always being horrible to the poor surviving fish....
One day I could only find one fish. The bent one. I looked for a long time to find his friend, and couldn't see it anyone, I suspected another disappearing act.
About a week after that I discovered the body.... It's eyes had been eaten by snails... So tragic....
The body was wedged into a hole in a rock in the tank. Like. Face first, squashed into a tiny little hole.
How the F?
Just like what?

It either swam in there, REALLY HARD and got stuck (and probably got brain damage at the same time, hitting the end of the hole). Or the bent fish murdered it and rammed its lifeless body in there to hide the evidence.

Anyway, his life is miserable now. He lives alone, because I refuse to by him anymore friends. He's been alone for a long time now, and he just WONT DIE.

Adorable dresses

So,  I'm trying this new thing where I actually DO something creative each weekend. Last weekend I finished my most recent painting, this weekend I'm making my GORGEOUS cousin a pretty little dress for her to flounce around in over summer.
Although, there wont be much flouncing, since she's only just recently turned 1 year old. She'll probably wreck the dress learning to walk, or crawling through some mud, or vomiting on it, or peeing in it, or one of the many other clothes-ruining baby traits.

Either way, I'm expecting a photo of her wearing it BEFORE it's destroyed - I will inform the mummy that this will be the payment. A pretty photo of my master piece dress. Considering the fact that I only started on it about half an hour ago, its not really a dress yet. I'll load a pic when its done!
It's going to be so cute. Like, adorable to the point of spontaneous combustion. The photo is of the fabric, and its cute. My cats on my bed cheering me on, admiring my work (in his sleep. Hes very affectionate in his sleep). His names Munta.

Also, my painting from last weekend. If you wanna see more of my paintings, then HERE

Oreos

I know that it's been a little wee while since my last post, and by that I mean probably over a month ago - which is pretty bad, even for me - so I guess I'd better get my A into G and type some shit stuff out for you guys to read.

Today, whilst at work, I was carrying a bottle of conditioner and the lid came off - this is like a 1L bottle, its friggen HUGE - and it fell to the floor and bounced twice before it finally tipped over onto the carpet.
On each bounce, a massive splash of conditioner flew out and covered as much as it could. . .
Thankfully, none of it landed on me, because if it had I'd have looked like a low class hooker. It was gooey white stuff. Not solid white either, it was half transparent which is even worse!
It got on two boxes, 7 packets of socks (thankfully, they were wrapped in plastic), the leg of some jean and the carpet.... ALOT went on the carpet.
That was my FML of the day, cause it took ages to wash off my hands after cleaning up - you know when you get something on your hands and it feels like slime? it was like that.
Like picking up eels, it was like a layer of eel slime. Has anyone done that?

Eels are really weird to pick up.
OH YEAH. That reminds me of my dream last night! (not the eels, it was the spermy conditioner that reminded me).
I had a penis! In my dream last night I had a HUGE penis!!!! I wasn't a boy, I was me... but with a penis.... and it was normal, like nothing seemed out of the ordinary - nobody commented on it, even though I was naked. Just what?
Like, what was I thinking when I fell asleep that made me imagine myself in a world where me having my massive penis out in public is okay??

I've decided on my reason for not writing out many posts recently. I was too busy having too much spare time. I never have much to say when I have alot of time on my hands.
Also I've eaten like 10 boxes of oreos in the past 2 weeks. They are amazing!
Im making up for lost time, since I never had them when I was a little kid. They are a recently discovered delicacy in my life. . .