PAINTING

OKAY. SO here comes some well in needed of venting.
I have almost - ALMOST - finished my painting homework. That is hours and hours and HOURS and HOURS AND HOURS of friggen work that I have ALMOST finished. I spent so long on this one painting, like all this time in school too. Then last night I decided I hate it and I painted over it. I quite like the new one, its this reflectiony bottle thingy-ma-bobble.
But omfg, I hated the idea of painting over my old one just as much as i hated the actual painting itself. I like, imploded. Just looking at that stupid painting.
After seeking advice form an elder, I decided to just ditch the idea and start anew. And DONE!
AHAHAHAHAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHA... Its like maniacal laughing. I like the painting now.
Okay.
Okay.
Okay.
Well. Im sick, which is whats made this painting nightmare even worse. Like, for my standards I'm pretty sick. Usually I get over my colds in a day or two, but I got sick on Thursday, and its not Monday night and my sickness is still going strong.
I dont think the carebears could even fight off this beast of a cold. Its doing my head in - literally. And its like, OH LETS CONCENTRATE ON TINY PAINTED DETAILS!!! My headaches like DIEDIEDIEDIEDIEDIDIIEEEEEE.
For hours on end.

Anyway. Yeah. My headache has recently returned- probably due to my procrastination of homework by writing this very post. Its sad, isnt it? I was just rid of this headache and it returns. Its like "I'm going to the store for milk",
YUSSSS ITS GONE
"No, really. Im back. I actually just went and got milk"
Dam its not gone. Got my hopes up for nothing.

Anyway, sick or not, Ive got to burden myself with school tomorrow, because my art assignment is DUUEEE!!!!! SO really I should get off my ass and finish it aye.. Hmm..... It will only take like, 10 minutes tops.....
But oh how horrid those 10 minutes will be....

Lets hope I survive...
Wish me luck...

*gulps*


(paintings so far, below)

BANG

I was at a loss for what to label this post when suddenly there was this massive bang on the ceiling.
But, seeing as this is a two story house - it wasnt really a ceiling, only a ceiling to me. SO. Something of someone upstairs has a violent accident with the ground... could've been head on. Sounded potentially damaging to both the ground and whatever hit it.

Anyway. So my night sucked dick. Im pretty sure I'm just way too hormonal for my own good. Its like "OH NO! I BROKE A NAIL!"
Actually, twice last week I burst into tears on separate occasions because I was sitting in bed when I noticed there was a tiny little spider crawling down my left arm.
I think I must be loosing sleep in my sleep or something, cause thats worse than crying over spilt milk.
And I really am quite tired, I've been telling myself all night that I need to head to bed early so that I can try and rebuild my brain... yet here I am. At 11pm. Typing out blog post about nothing.
Its like, this is actually a mission for me to type out because I am so tired! Even keeping my eyes open requires an uncharacteristic amount of effort right now.
Ugh! just realised that I have to get up ULTRA early so that I can have a shower... I should have just had a shower before! I had intended to, like I went and got a towel and everything but then I called my tib and had to spend time cheering him up. Poor tib..

He's so cute. He gave me a little bottle of confidence today. It was so cute. Its a blue liquid. He made it so it smells like lemons... unfortunately it tastes really gross. But who cares. Its cute. Mmm.. I suppose I should jump in bed... well. I am in bed.
I should go to sleep. Yes. I really should, my eyes are... like.... closed..........

Sick

Sitting here, at home. Have been since like 2.
Cause, I feel sick, and gross, and yuck and and and.. Well. Yeah. Sick.
I have that 'stomach-melting-itself-in-it's-own-stomach-acids' feeling, and my head feels kinda like it doesn't exist. My body just stops at the top of my neck and thats it. Nothing. Just clouds and floating eyes.

But see, the thing is that I have allot of homework to be doing, yet I'm sitting here type-type-typing away because I don't FEEL like sending my business studies chick an email containing my minutes. And I don't FEEL like writing about an unreleased photography book, nor do I FEEL like writing a proposal for my next photography assignment.
I don't FEEL like reading over my geography notes on waves for our test tomorrow. I don't FEEL like doing my conceptual drawings
AND I DON'T FEEL LIKE PAINTING TEA CUPS!

So here I am, sitting here, at home. Have been since like 2, ignoring all the homework that I DON'T want to do.
I guess, theres no choice in the matter about me emailing the business chick my minutes... I have to do that one... fml...
Oh well.

Yeah. I'm actually at my dads house, surprisingly. It's mums week, but I asked her to drop me off here instead of taking me out all the way into the middle of nowhere (which is where I live every second week), because I think there may be a possibility that I'm coming here for dinner tonight. But then again, maybe not. You never know these days!
Lol its like today at school in business, my group all had to swap details. And its like
Name: Orangejar
Home Phone: Depends where I live?
Celphone: 029 3247873
Email Adress: georgie_butterfly@hotmail.com

I ended up having to write two home phone numbers instead of one. People are always like "Oh I feel sorry for you, it must be terrible". Im like "Yeah, so is your face but I don't see you complaining"
No I'm totally kidding, I don't mind people saying they feel bad or w/e's. I mean people who live in "happy families" can't really imagine what it's like very well - but then again, I live in a happy family myself (usually). Its just bigger than other families. Like, my dads engaged and his fionce has three kids. And mums married and her husband has two kids - ones married, with a kid of her own! So thats another two people. So NOW my immediate family is at a grand total of...
of... uhh...
4 + 4 + 3 + 2 = 13!! Including myself.
Then again, a baby is pretty small so I'll count her as half a point.
So thats 12 and a half.
I'll wait till she reaches a year or two then I'll upgrade her to her full human status.

Eaves Dropping

You know that feeling you get when you think someones watching you?
Or you think someone might be listening in on a conversation...?
Like, your talking to your best friend about secrets! and then you see someone whos just standing a little too close, looking a little too casual... with a facial expression thats just a little too blank.... and you KNOW theyre listening. You know that feeling?

Thats what writing on my blogs like right now. I wrote out a massive explanation why, but I realised that I would get in trouble if i posted it... hence... why I can't write just anything on my blog anymore.... because I get in trouble....

And yeah. I just don't know what to write anymore. Hence.. why I don't write.
Loss of inspiration.

mm,
Sure, okay.

Keep on digging.

You know, when you say something that is taken the complete wrong way, then you try to patch up your screw up.. and it just progressively gets worse and worse?
Its like saying, "I prefer the black dress to the green"
"why?"
"because the green clashes with your hair"
"... thanks"
"Well, I mean. Its orange."
"..."
"I mean, like, not that orange is a bad thing"
"..."
"Im just saying that orange doesn't look good with green"
"..."
"Because orange is such an extreme colour, and it just doesn't look good like that"
"..."
"I mean, *your* hair isn't an extreme orange. Its a dull orange."
"..."
"Not that your dull"
"..."

Then theres always that person in the background who goes "Just keeeep on digging".
And you just wanna punch them in the face with a chair, because you KNOW your digging yourself into a hole and you don't need them telling you that.
Then again, I quite like the digging-remark dude cause it usually breaks the tension and sometimes can get you of the hole.
Unless you've already dug halfway to china and are currently sifting through magma in the Earths core.

This hole-digging situation also reminds me of things like, when someones starts saying something that SOUNDS like it will be a compliment, then it turns out to be a mega insult or slap to the face. I got one of those ones today, I was like "Aaawwwww!!!" but before I even got through the second W in my head it got cut short and turned in to a "Oh". I'd write it down, but that particular person reads my blog occasionally.
Lol I bet like everyone who reads this will be like "oh crap... was it me?"

I think i used about 40 quotation marks so far.

These are my sack people.

I.. don't quite know how to explain them yet.

This thing that I do.

So, I have this thing that I do.
Its not hard to explain, infact. Its incredibly easy to explain. Three words really, three little words that explain a whole variety of different facets that come off those three words... Why.. how... when... where.... who........

But see, when the term "three little words" is used, people tend to think of the line
"I love you"
When really, what I do is very different. What I do can and does affect people who love me, my friends, my family or anyone I know. Its a very powerful thing, this thing that I do.

I could potentially change someone's entire life - If I put effort into it.
But this thing, the thing I do. I don't try to do it. In fact, my entire being rebels against it - It's one thing in my life which I put extreme amounts of effort into NOT doing. Yet, even though I put so much time and thought into stopping myself from doing this, I still do. Often. To everyone.
The people I love most, are the people who have this happen to them the most.
Sometimes it's funny to me, this thing that I do. Because, even though I try my hardest to make sure it doesn't happen... I do it better than majority of other things that I do in life.
Sometimes, I think it may be a gift that I have. Oh perhaps not a gift. But a talent.
Like people have a talent for trouble... I have a talent for this. This thing that I do.

And this thing that I do,
is hurt people.