DENTIST

I can't stand going to the dentist!
I think I must have inherited this of my mum, because she hates it too. Like, I know everyone hates the dentist, but we do more than your everyday person. .
But you see, I don't hate the dentist for the dental work. That parts actually not too bad, I hate it because of the needles!
UGH. NEEDLES.

Yesterday I got two fillings - I was being brave going in there all by myself, not even crying. I wasn't shaking. I wasn't awkwardly smiling (does anyone else do that? When your scared you can't stop smiling?). I just walked in, told the reception lady I was there and she said to take a seat.
I had just settled down to wait, with a nice magazine article about gay marriage, and then the nurse steps out;
"Georgia?"
Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu
I got into the torture chamber, and freaked out. It wasn't my dentist. Not MY dentist. Some other scary random dentist man that I didn't know. I've had the same dentist for a few years now - I like him. He talks, he makes jokes, and he tells me what he's doing and what to expect. I had my check up with him, and I WANTED MY FILLINGS DONE WITH HIM. He told me at the check up that he would try not to use the back needle (the one that goes in the very back of your mouth, and is SCARY).
So, I sit in the chair. Mentally telling myself "its okay, he wont be a ruthless bastard that wants to jab holes all over you".

I started building the new dentist-patient relationship. I talked alot. He was nice, he had a look in my mouth, then said to the nurse "Okay, can you pass me a top and a back". And It dawned upon me that he was talking about needles. A BACK?? Oh no.

Oh no Oh no Oh no!!!
So I said "Oh.. Id hoped you wouldn't have to use that one... can you like, warn me when your going to... do it?"
So he agreed. And said he'd do it now. And I was like WHAT? Do what now??? WHICH NEEDLE NOW???
He said "I'll do the back one now, get the worst over with first". uufhdao;sbljvcxzlkbnv cv,.l;vsd
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omg
So he did. It was okay. It did hurt, but not as much as my reaction implies it did. I have no idea why I'm so scared of needles, logically they really don't hurt as much as most things. Its just... the IDEA of them is so... horrible.
After the first one was over I wasn't really worried about the next. He did it, it stung a little, it was okay. But I must have been alot more anxious than I thought I was, because as he pulled the second needle out he was telling me about rinsing my mouth out I think - I don't know. I wasn't hearing him, all I could hear was ringing. Then I started feeling really sick, and shaking alot and the dentist told me I went really pale all of a sudden. He made me lie down with my knees up (like an idiot) for 5 minutes, so I didn't faint.
I HATE NEEDLES.
Is this the new thing?? The last time I had an injection I fainted, and this time I would have had I not already been lying down!
UGH. FML.

World rape

If it's considered rape when somebody has sex with you without your consent; then when the world FUCKS PEOPLE OVER and in no means whatsoever is it consensual I would definitely call that rape.
I mean, the world is far bigger, stronger, and more powerful than any of us individually so yeah; It just rapes whoever is pleases whenever it pleases.

Often it's raping many people at once - simply because the world is a greedy selfish bastard of a thing that enjoys tipping peoples lives upside down and watching as they drown in they're own misery while is FUCKS THEM. It gets off on it - just like many other rapists out there.

But you know what, the world even rapes the rapists sometimes (chucking them in jail and whatnot), so its far worse than your general everyday rapist. It is one cruel, evil, sadistic planet.

And you know what else?
There is absolutely NOTHING we can do about it.
If the worlds like "hey, I haven't had all that much non consensual sex recently - oh look! Theres a person! Lets go ruin they're life. I'm not even going to wear protection" then there is literally nothing you can do.

Even is its not rape, its got to be some kind of sexual assault.

Now, I don't often type out blog posts that have this level of... angst... in them, so consider it a privilege that you're reading this before I delete it (presuming I do delete it).

nightmare - cutting people in half

Okay, so this morning I awoke in amazement. It seems that the level of disgust that my nightmares give me has risen again. I honestly didn't think my brain was this twisted to even come up with this stuff - let alone come up with it in detail and play it like a movie inside my head.
Like, seriously? Am I harboring a psycho killer in my mind, or what??

Last night I dreamt (I can't believe I'm telling you);

I can't remember all the details... You know how dreams skip bits.
Well, there was a murderer in the building (idk what building it was, I think it was supposed to be my house? but it was massive, with lots of hidden doorways that people can jump at you from).
He was roaming around, preying on young women (which there seemed to be an abundance of in my house). He attacks with a syringe filled with some seriously powerful pain med - considering what he does, it must be RIDICULOUSLY strong -  He would drag them off to his chosen room of torture, and then suddenly they would be ripped in half.
I wish I could say he just wanted a collection of ripped in half bodies, but no... he didn't...
I don't know what he did with the bottom half, because thats never seen again.... but he then proceeds to HAVE SEX WITH the mangled top half. Like. It would be like him having sex with mince that has shoulders and a face.

And get this, the women are STILL ALIVE when he does this.

Yup. I think this one even tops the one with the clown that dragged primary school kids into the attic to eat them.

I am disgusting.

Vacuum strikes again

The work vacuum cleaner is a bastard - shall we do a quick revision for those who haven't followed the progressive decent of my personal relationship with this horrible machine?
Okay!
It's got an incredibly abusive nature, and despite all attempts, it seems unable to listen to reasoning. Nor will it accept bribes. All efforts to enlighten its world of viscous savagery have failed.
As I am aware, it has nothing that we could use to blackmail it into being ... tolerable.
It has caused me a plethora of physical and emotional damage.

Just recently, it was torn to pieces but another staff member. I have already described this incident in a previous post - but if you wish to read it, I warn you that its pretty gory and upsetting to see.

Anyway, considering that it was me who put the unreasonable sadist back together, it still wont give me a break. It has now discovered a new way to hurt me.
It pulls out my hair.

Im aware that the picture is terrible, you can only JUST see the hairs - but you'll have to excuse that. It was ... 'difficult' to take a picture of my hair stuck there while my manager was standing next to me. She wouldn't understand. SHE doesn't have to do the vacuuming.