The sun is back - so is the sun burn!

My WONDEROUS first beach experience of 2010 ends in a loverly round patch of pink.
I was determined to get every patch of me covered in sun block, and I really did try. I put two layers on my face. And I thought I was successful, there wasn't any signs of damage. I was impressed. I then got home, and mum pointed out that I had infact missed a patch.
It's weird, because no matter which top I am wearing, the first sun burn I get each year seems to be where my neck line is on the top. Admittedly, this years first burn wasn't too bad, it was only a slight shade of pink. It was like.. marshmellow pink.
Not too bad.

Anyway, more important news is that at the beach, my friends and I discovered a jellyfish! the MOST ADORABLE jellyfish ever known to man kind. He was about 1cm square, and he had a bright red dot in him (like, his blood and guts and things).
Totally adorable. It looked like he had lace around the bottom, and every time he swam? upwards, he had a tiny cluster of tentacles that popped out from no where.



We called him Barry. (Barrel Bourbon No51). But his christian name was Squishy.
The reason he was awarded this name is cause thats the only bottle we could find to catch him in (it's okay, don't panic, we released him! It was just for closer inspection). We walked him all around the beach and showed him the human world - presuming jellyfish can see?
Actually thinking about it now, it didn't even occur to me that jellyfish don't have eyes. Damn..

STEAK FOR STICK PEOPLE

I know at least 10 dozen girls (and boys too) who complain about how fat they are and how they have so many rolls! Look at ALL THOSE ROLLS! Cheese and bacon topped rolls, even! They go on and on - even when shrillions of people are going "NAWW baayybe, ur totally skiiinny MWAA xXx" - and they insist that their friends are just blatantly lying. OfCOURSE my bestieee 4EVAAAAH is lying to meee. Im fat! Gosh! Look at the rolls!
They then scrabble at their skin trying to bunch it up so they can show you.

Then, you step back and look at this person. And you know FULL WELL that if they turned side ways they would disappear (Like that little robot on transformers 2). You then mentally warm up your pimp hand for the wakening slap of life, to knock their brains out of the stew it must obviously be rotting in.
Then you remember that you think your fat too. That everyone in the world thinks they're fat. And you think to yourself,
"Now, I may not be as stick thin as that bitch, but if Im going to start slapping skinny bitches I'll have worn my hand down to a stub by christmas"

And you put your pimp hand back in your pocket, take a deep breath, and you say to that person;

"Naw babe.. Your totally skinny."

I missed my thought train! Crap!

Oh dear! It seems I've missed my thought train today and have had to walk to wherever my thoughts are trying to go.
Thats unfortunate because I can't use that excuse tomorrow when school starts again.

My teacher would be like "why haven't you done any work?!",

I'd simply reply, "Well miss, my brain is absent today. It missed the train to school"
Surely she would understand, after all she does the role every day. She knows all about 'absent'. So long as I ensure her that my brain isn't playing truant, she might not even want a note from my brains parents to explain the absence.
Or. Maybe I'd simply reply with silence.

But who cares! There is only two days left of school and then I am right back onto holidays again! How wonderful.
I wouldn't have minded a few extra days - no, Its not that I enjoy the hideousness of getting up early in the morning. Its that, with my photography, I could really use the extra time to talk over how Im going to progress my work.

What do I want?

During schooltime, you wake up every morning saying UGH. I WANT A HOLIDAY.
But even exam week - one measly week off from school, and I realise that I DON'T want a holiday! I don't want a holiday at all!
I dont like holidays, because when I sit at home on my supposed 'relaxing' days, I just feel like a slob because I'm doing nothing. And its like, I don't really *want* to go out and do anything either... well, I never want to go out at the time. But when I go out I enjoy it.

So what DO I want?

I know I like what I have in my life, but without something to DO, life just doesn't really seem that great, because you get bored easily. When Im with other people - thats fine, cause I'm doing something. Even if I'm doing nothing with someone else, its more than doing nothing by myself.

which is why it's strange that I can't figure out what I want to do when I leave school, right? I mean, if i hate having no routine or something to do, surely I would be interested in ANYTHING so that I wont get stuck doing nothing.

I guess its not that easy right? but hey, nothing important is easy.

Orangejar shirt!

My merchandise has ARRIVED!

DICK SUCKING.

I have a LIST of screaming-into-a-pillow annoying things that can SUCK MY DICK.

Number one; EXAMS CAN SUCK MY DICK.
And the sub examples of number one can ALSO SUCK MY DICK, these sub examples are;
-essay writing
-my thumb that hurts
-'skills' paper
-refill
-pronouns
-AND MOSTLY. Inverse tan.
INVERSE TAN CAN SUCK MY DICK FOR ALL OF ETERNITY AND IT CAN SUCK UNTIL IT NO LONGER HAS THE ABILITY TO SUCK BECAUSE ALL ITS SUCKING MUSCLES HAVE SUCKED THEMSELVES OUT OF EXISTENCE. It will then CONTINUE to suck my dick.

Number two; Moving house can suck my dick. And seeing as it is happening TWICE (again!) then it will suck twice and hard and twice as long.

I realise that this post is immature, but who cares? Exams are so grown up and SUCKY that immaturity is needed to even make life bearable, to make it worth waking up and not shooting yourself in the face with a rocket launcher filled with bee hives JUST to get a doctors note to get out of it.
If immaturity didn't exist, then the entire world would have mass riots of bee-sting faced students who burn the city to China and back in an incurable rage of studyitis. The consequences of such an occurrence is as severe as a meteor hitting the Earth an wiping out the human race.

This bee-sting faced, city burning student riot is infact what caused the extinction of the dinosaurs.

SO IF YOU DON'T MIND. I will have my large serving of immaturity, with a side of sanity and I will have this IN PEACE.

I find it almost impossible to write propper blog posts while my head is swimming with dredging 400000m3 inverse tan blow me about in winds roast me in sulfur product place price promotion inverse tan northern groyne to change the ebb tide southern to increase wave deposition marketing mix inverse tan 2cm a year formation 6500 years ago Aeolian transportation inverse tan inverse tan inverse tan!

Studying and exams are mushing my brain fluids around so that its almost impossible to form coherent thoughts that don't have inverse tan smashing through my concentration and shattering my fragile web of sanity.
All I can say to myself is 'at least I don't do maths'. My brain would be totally fried. Fried, scrambled and poached and then served on toast with bacon.
Science would have a similar effect - I didn't mind biology so much, but physics...
Ew.

Oh well. I SHOULD be studying.. I have geography (F'ing inverse tan!) and business studies exams tomorrow.

MUFFIN

I am inbetween a bad mood and a good mood.
Im not in no mood, or in a blank mood or in a peaceful mood.

Its like I'm teetering on the edge of 'ILL FXCKING KILL YOU ALL' and 'I wonder whats for dinner.."
One slight action or comment could swing me in either direction!

So give me your best, world! And I will thank you for it by... gardening. Or something. The world likes trees right? I like plants.. so. It makes sense.

Also, Muffin, I don't know how often you read these nonsenses but we could go for walks after school? cause Im having trouble with exercise motivationals too. It's kind of getting sunny now, so even though were both kinda short.. we shouldn't drown in mud at LB beach.
We can't really play tennis anymore due to that fact that neither of us CBF carrying tennis racquets to school (F that). So it kinda leaves walks, unless we think of some other sport? (hahahahhahahahahaha sport)
How about it?

Clocks are ruining my life

I had this whole mentally (and virtually bullet pointed) speech planned to convince my dad that I am indeed responsible and old enough to go and stay the night at my darling tibs house.
I was going to play on dads good side and sneak past his reasons for me not to go, counter attack anything bad he says with something good!
And so I had to do this speech before 7:30, you know, so that I could get a ride home with Tib after work. It was a good plan, and I was talking to dad. He was in a good mood. I looked at the clock, it was 10 to 6. I was just about to begin the presentation of my speech when I get a txt from Tib.
It said "Im going home now"

I then looked at my phone clock and it was 8pm.
Fxck. I then remembered that my kitchen clocks batteries had died about a week ago.
It was ALWAYS 10 to 6 in my kitchen.

So I missed my chance.
Fml.

Nightmares. Whats new?

My GOD I am so tired. I am ALWAYS tired, but not to this extent!
Argh. I know why Im so tired. Its because I had a stupid zombie dream last night. They were running zombies, and they enjoyed flesh as much as I enjoy lasagna. Luckily, it was like any 'good' zombie movie (if such a thing exists), and I seemed to have an unlimited supply of guns and ammo.

As per usual in my zombie dreams, there was crap loads of blood and guts flying all over the place - although, there was alot of blood-splatters-on-walls in this one, which hasn't occurred before. I doubt my dream book will have an explanation for what THAT means.

Wonder what I'll dream about tonight.

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Well. Not really.
But I did design it, I hope you guys think its as totally brilliant as I think it is.
I know I'll be advertising myself around town
:) My t's due to arrive within 8 to 13 working days.

So excited.

School yesterday, work today, father tomorrow?

Finally, sitting in bed - I feel only mili seconds away from slipping into my dreams. Or nightmares. More likely to be nightmares - they tend to make for more amusing stories to share the next day. At least, I presume thats why my brain decided that nightmares should be a more common occurrence than dreams?
Either way, its best to just go with the answer that wont resolve in an argument. This time, that means agreeing that my brain simulates nightmares for amusement.

Yes, avoiding any argument always ends up a good thing... It is an especially good thing if the argument being avoided is with ones own brain... The brain tends to win, and one and their brain tend to spend the remainder of their lives in a straight jacket, bouncing off the walls in their foam room.

The reason I am tired is because I worked for a measly 2 and a half hours longer than the usual 4 hours. So, 6 and half hours. Thats no longer that the time I'm at school, what gives work the right to be more tiresome, huh?
Learning and stressing is far more tiring than vacuuming, cleaning and writing quote letters. Admittedly... Vacuuming a Carpet Court show room does take a ridiculously long time...

Theres just... just......

just so much carpet....

On the walls.. the floors... the shelves.. the cupboards...
*shudders*

But never the less, I got a large amount of sleep last night, and anything regained by that excess sleep has been sucked into that stupid carpert fluff and sweet corn filled Vacuum bag (The sweet corn is an advertising scheme for the ever so famous ECO STRAND carpet. Its amazing stuff, really). If your out for some brilliant carpet, just ask me, I mean. I've vacuumed all of it, surely I can tell you which ones the comfiest to walk on.
I'd know because I vacuum in socks. Some people may think thats unprofessional, but I say; What's the point in working in a carpet store if you don't even use it?


Its fathers day tomorrow too. My horoscope said that I will have trouble with someones large ego tomorrow morning... Sorry dad, looks like you've got to have some failure for breakfast. That should get your ego back into perspective for the day. Dunno where you can buy it though, and in what form? Failure and hazelnut spread? sunnyside up failure? scrambled failure? I don't know.
Gosh, if horoscope writers can tell me that sort of thing and be RIGHT about it a day in advance, then Im going to have to kidnap one of these people.

I'll write a post tomorrow and let you know if I'll be buying some chloroform and rope. I'll be needing their addresses too...
Hmm..