Today, whilst at work, I was carrying a bottle of conditioner and the lid came off - this is like a 1L bottle, its friggen HUGE - and it fell to the floor and bounced twice before it finally tipped over onto the carpet.
On each bounce, a massive splash of conditioner flew out and covered as much as it could. . .
Thankfully, none of it landed on me, because if it had I'd have looked like a low class hooker. It was gooey white stuff. Not solid white either, it was half transparent which is even worse!
It got on two boxes, 7 packets of socks (thankfully, they were wrapped in plastic), the leg of some jean and the carpet.... ALOT went on the carpet.
That was my FML of the day, cause it took ages to wash off my hands after cleaning up - you know when you get something on your hands and it feels like slime? it was like that.
Like picking up eels, it was like a layer of eel slime. Has anyone done that?
Eels are really weird to pick up.
OH YEAH. That reminds me of my dream last night! (not the eels, it was the spermy conditioner that reminded me).
I had a penis! In my dream last night I had a HUGE penis!!!! I wasn't a boy, I was me... but with a penis.... and it was normal, like nothing seemed out of the ordinary - nobody commented on it, even though I was naked. Just what?
Like, what was I thinking when I fell asleep that made me imagine myself in a world where me having my massive penis out in public is okay??
I've decided on my reason for not writing out many posts recently. I was too busy having too much spare time. I never have much to say when I have alot of time on my hands.
Also I've eaten like 10 boxes of oreos in the past 2 weeks. They are amazing!
Im making up for lost time, since I never had them when I was a little kid. They are a recently discovered delicacy in my life. . .
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