Way to get rich fast

If I had a dollar for every post I'd intended to write out - I'd be a bloody million trillion billionaire X ten thousand million hundred billion times!
I could make a living that would put the world into bankruptcy because my pay check each week would be way larger than the entire worlds economy put together multiplied by 50.

But you know what? This is one less dollar that I'll metaphorically earn.
I guess nows about the time I throw in my heart felt apology for being a slacker and not writing anything worth half a glance in the past few months. I know all you avid readers have been pulling your hair out in anticipation for a new post - one that will make your life worth living again, because we all know I am the reason for your existence.

I guess that would lead me to question my existence though - If I am the reason for all other living beings (yup, that means every single living person - including people in comas, babies who cant read, and blind people - read my blog) then whats the purpose of me living?
I guess so I can write to you guys.
I know. Im always making such huge sacrifices for you, you should really pay a little more respect and start sending me money. Maybe I should start an OJ bank account and make little reminders to you all that its always helpful to GIVE ME ALL YOUR MONEY.

Then again, I don't need money right now. Money shmoney. I've had enough of it!
What I need is something to stimulate my mind. Not a big fan of sudoku, so that wont help. Still fxcking suck on whatever I want to do with my fabulous life in the near distant or far distant future - so as much as I'd like to study, just fml. Put a really small gun inside my nose, and shoot a really small grenade into my brain and blow it into really small pieces.

Which makes me think - speaking of giving me all me all your money, I wish that my blown up brain was clever enough to write a blog that was thrilling enough to actually get me paid. That would be wickedly ideal. But I guess I'd have to extend my vocabulary and (somehow, if its possible) extend my imagination too.