Been eating knives

SO, its been a little while since I wrote the famous words;
"Im sick, again"

You must admit, I have done pretty well for myself. Its been like, 2 months? Thats a pretty solid effort, considering my track record.
So far, its being exhausted, runny nose and sore throat. You see, over the past few days I've woken up with a sore throat - no big deal, maybe I was breathing through my mouth all night. Dry throat. It happens, right?
So I thought, whatever.
Now though, its plainly obvious that I've got a cold. A lame one. I've definitely had worse, but that doesn't mean this one doesn't suck anyway. My voice is starting to get warped - like, Im slowly becoming a man.
It's like I've sat at home and eaten 20 knives, then waited 15 minutes and thrown them up. Then repeated for 5 hours.

I blame work. I've been run off my feet (not literally, I'm still on my feet). When I got in today, I was like "I've got a cold!" and I got told "Your not allowed to have a cold. We're too busy".
Oh well, I guess thats that then, isn't it? No cold for me. Guess I'm cured.

Whats even more lame, is that even if I get worse it wont change a damn thing because work wont function if I take time off - I know that sounds really exaggerated, but I'm not even kidding.
My manager resigned, so the 2IC is filling in her place till head office gets off they're lazy asses and hire somebody. And you know what, Im filling in the 2IC position.
Not officially, of course. That would mean I have to get payed more. They've just shoved me into this slot cause nobody else at work is capable. LITERALLY nobody else can do it.
I feel like I'm doing my the jobs of two people at once - which is fine.
I can't use my lieu days, I can't take annual leave, I can't be sick.
HOW DO I ESCAPE?