WAR!

I've been thinking about war. The logicality of war.
I get the whole 'WE FIGHT FOR OUR COUNTRY, FAMILY AND CHILDREN!' thing.
Really, I get it. Fighting to protect and for self defense is understandable. I also understand the occasional punch in the face or scrap at school - sometimes people really deserve it.

But war? .... Really?
Doesn't 'negotiation' seem like an easier and less gore filled way to solve a problem?
It is understandably hard to be a world leader... If you negotiate with your enemy country to lend them money to help develop their countries, then taxes will rise within your own country, citizens will become angry they have to "suffer" for these OTHER people.
These citizens find the only thing they feel and see is unfairness at higher taxes. HOW COULD OUR OWN GOVERNMENT DO THIS TO US!! THOSE BASTARDS!
Mr. President will start to be threatened, plotted against and suffer attempt assassinations.
Then the text bullying starts.

Beep-Beep.

Mr. President fearfully picks up his cellphone, tears rolling down his cheeks. He takes a small intake of air and braces himself for the pain.
He opens it. Click.

"u suck."

He can't take it anymore! His arms fly up in the air and he gives in. WAR!
WAR WAR WAR!!!!
The nuclear bombs are rocket off at random, all men and women are geared up with machine guns and flame throwers - No sexism in MY country! Mr, President murmurs to himself. No. No! The women are equals now! They may have breasts... But stilettos don't fly on the battlefields... He giggles darkly, How do you like your tax increases now?
More insane giggles.

All hell breaks loose when he decides the war-zone will be in the Whitehouse.
Oh no, he says, I'm no sit-back-in-my-warm-office-and-watch kind of president! The heaters are OFF! Let there be AIR CONDITIONING!

Moments later, the troops arrive.
All are riding lions, Mr. President felt them to be more effective than horses.
Mr. President strides out into the main hall to announce the beginning. He places his boom box on the ground.
WE BEGIN AT 0! He shouts.

5. 4. 3. 2. 1. 0.
He presses play. The world ends.